Love is Only Sleeping
by writermarie
Summary: Part Three of the Early Jed/Abbey Series: "...the emptiness in her eyes was cruel to see...but I whispered 'sometimes love is only sleeping' A devastating loss shakes Jed and Abbey to the core


Title: "Love is only Sleeping" sequel to "Turn, Turn, Turn"  
Author: Marie Rossiter (writermarie2002@yahoo.com)

Pairing: Early Jed/Abbey   
Spoilers: none  
Rating: PG-13 up to R/NC-17  
Feedback: Sure  
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine. They belong to Sorkin;   
I'm simply   
borrowing them for a bit.  
  
Time: Thanksgiving 1966  
  
Jed somehow managed to compose himself as he looked at the   
young woman sitting on his bed. He said a silent prayer, with the   
hopes that he would be able to keep his promise to himself. However,   
looking as she did, Abbey wasn't going to make keeping that promise   
very easy.  
He quickly scanned the room for a place for the two of them to   
sit and have Thanksgiving dinner. Noticing a large blanket on his   
roommate's top bunk, he grabbed it and spread it out on the floor.   
Next, he picked up the bags of food and set them down on the makeshift   
picnic area.  
"I'm afraid I don't have any good china," Jed said with an   
impish grin, "but I did manage to get some plastic plates and   
utensils. It won't be fancy, but it should be good."  
"It looks wonderful, Jed," Abbey said sincerely, sliding down   
off the bed and onto the bedspread.  
The two friends ate until they couldn't manage another morsel.   
They both leaned back and sighed contentedly.  
"Well, I'm sure it wasn't as good as what you would have had   
at your house, but for take out..." Jed started  
Abbey reached out to Jed and took one of his hands. "Jed,   
this was one of the nicest holidays I've ever had. Really."  
Jed looked down at his hand in Abbey's and then looked at   
Abbey. For the first time, he noticed how penetrating her eyes were.   
"She must see right through me," he thought to himself. For a split   
second, he was embarrassed at this possibility. But, after a moment,   
he realized at how right that felt.  
As Jed was lost in thought, Abbey could feel herself become   
warm all over--just from having her hand in Jed's. "My God, I really   
am losing my mind," she said silently to herself.   
Simultaneously, their hands slowly retreated from one   
another's. Jed's mind raced: trying to figure out what to do or say   
next. He noticed the radio was on and that one of his favorite   
classical pieces was on the air. Trying to relax, he closed his eyes   
and attempted to let the music soothe his fraying nerves.  
"You know," Abbey said after a few minutes, "this stuff you   
listen to isn't so bad, really."  
Jed's eyes opened abruptly. "Stuff? You call Mozart 'stuff'?   
This is some of the finest music ever composed and recorded."  
Abbey smirked. "Hey, don't get all high and mighty with me,   
Notre Dame. Usually with this stuff, I just gag and turn it off."  
Jed's eyes narrowed a bit. While in one sense it was endearing   
to him to see that Abbey still had that edge to her personality, Jed   
certainly didn't want to spend the night debating the beauty of one of   
Mozart's most exquisite creations.  
"Don't you ever listen to modern music? You know, Dylan, The   
Beatles, that type of stuff?" Abbey inquired.  
Jed sighed. "Sometimes. But, personally, I really think that   
composers like Mozart, Beethoven, Vivaldi and even Rachmaninov are the   
true geniuses of music. There's just so much more depth to their   
music than the 'stuff' of today. The composers of the past, in my   
mind, were able to say so much more with their music than composers of   
today-with their amplified instruments and strong words."  
"You sound like an old fuddy-duddy sometimes, Jed Bartlet."   
Abbey said, rolling her eyes.  
Jed didn't respond to this comment. He simply stood up and   
began to clean up the remains of their Thanksgiving dinner. Jed   
grabbed one of the larger bags he carried the food in and started   
disposing of the trash in there.   
Abbey stood up, "Let me help you clean up."  
Jed kept on cleaning, "It's ok," he said uncomfortably.  
"Come on. It's the least I can do after you went out in this weather   
and got us  
such a nice dinner. Please?" Abbey asked.  
"Fine," Jed said quietly. He was pissed and he wasn't exactly   
sure as to why he felt that way. Certainly, he and Abbey have had   
their share of disagreements in the past. So, why allow this simple   
one to rattle him? However, in his heart and his mind, Jed knew that   
their disagreement over Mozart had little to do with his souring mood.   
This little tiff was simply masking what was really bothering him:   
Jed was totally confused at Abbey's reaction earlier to their kiss.   
He wanted to talk about it with her, but he knew that was probably a   
bad idea. He didn't want her running off again-for two reasons: one,   
the weather outside was pretty lousy and two, if she ran off this   
time, it would probably be for good. At this point, Jed couldn't risk   
that.  
Just as they were finishing the clean up efforts, the lights   
in the room flickered for a brief second, and then went out   
completely.   
"What the...?" Jed said.  
"Now, Jed, watch the language," Abbey teased slightly.  
Jed fumbled his way across the room to his radio, where he   
unplugged it from the outlet. Fortunately, there were batteries in   
it, so at least there wouldn't be silence and darkness. He grabbed   
the radio and started moving the tuner back and forth.  
"What are you doing?" Abbey asked.  
"Trying to get some local news or weather," Jed said hastily.  
After hearing only static for a time, an announcer's voice   
started to come through clearly. "Once again, the weather service has   
issued a blizzard warning for the remainder of tonight due to heavy   
and blowing snow. Snowfall may total up to 2 inches an hour during   
some portions of the evening and nighttime hours. The highway patrols   
ask for everyone to remain in their homes and stay off the roads until   
further notice. There are scattered power outages across the state.   
Stay tuned to this station for frequent updates on this storm. Now,   
we return you to our program, already in progress."  
"Great," Jed said. "It's only November and look at this   
weather."  
"Well, at least we're inside where it's dry and warm." Abbey   
replied, trying to sound optimistic.  
"For now. With no power, there's no heat. And, with no heat,   
it could get cold in here by the middle of the night."  
Abbey said nothing in reply. She then noticed the music   
playing on the radio. Jazz. Now, this she could get into.  
"Is it ok if we listen to this for a while?" Abbey asked. "I   
love this music. My folks play it all the time in the house."  
"Sure, it's ok with me." Jed answered.  
"Are you sure? It's not classical, after all." Abbey mocked.  
"Abbey, are you looking to start a fight or what?" Jed   
snapped.  
"What?" Abbey responded, confused.  
"You've been on me ever since I got back," Jed said   
defensively. He knew he shouldn't take his frustration out on her,   
but hell, she was the one who was causing it-it seemed to make sense   
at that particular moment.  
"I'm just joking with you, Jed. That's what I do...That's   
what we do! We've been barbing back and forth since the night we   
met!" Abbey replied. She was trying to read his expression, but in   
the darkness of the room, it was difficult.  
Jed sat down on one of the chairs in the room and faced   
himself toward the window trying, in vain, to watch the falling snow.   
Damn it! Why does it have to be like this?  
Abbey sighed and then moved to sit on the floor in front of   
Jed. Her eyes were becoming adjusted to the darkness by now. She   
looked up at Jed. "Jed, please. Don't be like this. I know you're   
upset at me about before. But, you have to believe me when I say that   
this is for the best."  
Jed continued his silence.  
"If this is how you want it, Jed..." Abbey began, hoping he   
would say something in return.  
Yet, there was still nothing from him.  
"I see," Abbey said sadly. "I'm going to sleep." With those   
words, Abbey stood up and tried to make her way to the bunks without   
killing herself. "I hope you don't mind taking the top bunk. I'd   
prefer not to climb onto the top bunk."  
There was no response from Jed.  
"Fine." Abbey said, trying to mask her anger. "Good night,   
Josiah." She got into the bed, pulled the covers up over her and   
faced the wall, hoping to hide her tears from Jed. She cried   
silently, refusing to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he   
made her cry. It didn't take her long to cry herself to a restless   
sleep.  
Jed continued to simply sit in the chair and stare into the   
blackness of the wintry night. After some considerable time in that   
chair, he came to a few realizations about Abigail:  
One: She could be the most cold and insensitive person he's   
ever known  
Two: She now ranks above Leo as the most stubborn person in   
his life  
Three: He felt terrible for getting angry with Abbey.  
Four: He was falling in love with her.  
  
Jed headed toward the bunks. He was too tired to think about   
this any more tonight. He started for the ladder to climb up, but   
instead, he knelt down beside the lower bunk. Even though it was   
dark, Jed could see her tear-stained face. She had cried herself to   
sleep. He reached over and softly brushed the hair from her damp   
cheeks. He lightly caressed her face once more. God, she was   
beautiful.  
"Damn it." Jed whispered aloud to himself as he stood up and climbed   
to the top bunk.   
Abbey opened her eyes, but didn't dare move. She wanted to respond,   
but didn't know what to do or say. His touch spoke volumes, and there   
was so little that she thought she could say to match it.  
Abbey didn't move, not wanting Jed to know she was awake.   
It took a little while, but finally, Abbey heard the deep breathing of   
Jed above her. He had finally fallen asleep.  
Abbey tried to go back to sleep, but she couldn't. By now, she was   
restless-tossing and turning in her bed. The fact that she was in   
Jed's bed, wearing his clothes, knowing what it felt like to kiss him   
was all becoming too much for her. And, when he touched her cheek   
just a while ago-well, it was the last straw.   
There was no denying it now: she was falling for ol' Notre Dame.   
"Oh, hell, how could I let this happen!" she muttered.  
She sat up in her bunk carefully, avoiding cracking her head on the   
bottom of the top bunk. Now what should she do? Leave? That wasn't   
possible at this point. She tried to remind herself of the promise   
she made to allow Jed to make up his own mind about her-and to not try   
to persuade him about what a future together would be like.   
Yet, there was something else that was motivating Abbey now.   
Therefore, it was of little surprise to her when she found herself   
getting up out of bed and starting to climb up the ladder to the top   
bunk. In a small place in the back of her mind, she knew this was   
crazy, but the instinct within was too strong to overcome.   
She managed to make it up the ladder without either killing herself or   
waking Jed. Standing at the top of the ladder, she simply watched Jed   
sleep for a moment. Abbey smiled at this sight. He looked so much   
like a little boy, and not the well-educated man she had started out   
loathing and now desiring.   
Abbey took in a deep breath and committed herself to her decision.   
She stepped off the ladder and climbed into Jed's bed.  
  


Part 2—Rated R/NC 17

Jed somehow noticed that he felt warmer than he did just a   
moment ago. In his semi-conscious state, he smiled and snuggled   
deeper into the bed. Somewhere in his subconscious mind, he hoped   
that he would get back into that deep sleep he was enjoying and be   
able to return to the dream he was having about Abbey. The dream   
seemed so real to Jed, that he could almost feel her beside him.  
Suddenly, Jed became aware of the fact that space seemed a   
little tighter than when he got into bed. "That's strange," Jed   
thought to himself, still half asleep. He pulled the blanket over him   
as he rolled over to face the wall.  
Then, the blankets were pulled partially off of Jed.   
"Jed! I'm cold, do you mind?" a voice called out in the   
darkness.  
Jed didn't move for a moment, convinced that he must still be   
sleeping and dreaming. He could swear that sounded like Abigail.   
And, the only way the blankets could be pulled off of him like   
that.... the only reason why things seemed a little cramped would be   
because he wasn't alone in bed.  
Jed didn't want to make any sudden movements, afraid of waking   
himself up completely and taking himself out of his dream-so, he   
slowly rolled back over.  
"Are you always this much of a blanket hog? Because, that's   
going to be a significant problem to overcome," the voice said.  
Jed's eyes flew opened and right beside him, he saw Abbey.  
Too shocked to move, all Jed could say was, "Abbey!"  
"Yes, Jed?" Abbey replied quietly.  
"Abbey?" Jed asked, puzzled.  
"Yes, Jed?" Abbey repeated.  
"Abbey?" Jed said once more.  
"Yes, Jed, it's me. Whom did you expect?" Abbey asked, almost   
irritated by this point. Despite her annoyance, she cuddled closer to   
Jed. "Is this how you act when you have a woman in your bed?"  
Jed swallowed hard. "Uh...I, uh..."  
Abbey smiled. She had Jed Bartlet speechless. She would have   
to keep this date firmly in her mind, as she knew this probably   
wouldn't be a frequent occurrence.   
"Jed?" Abbey said in a low, husky voice.  
"Yeah?" Jed managed to get out.  
"Don't you want to kiss me?" she whispered.  
Jed was unsure if this was still part of his dream or if this   
was really happening. However, he decided to take a chance either   
way. He wrapped his arms around Abbey, pulled him closely to her and   
kissed her.  
Abbey, in response, laced her legs around Jed's, attempting to   
get as close to him as she could. Her lips tasted Jed's hungrily, as   
she had been dreaming of this moment for months now.   
Jed could barely breath, as the power and passion of this kiss   
practically knocked the wind out of him. This wasn't a kiss of   
uncertainty or of young, experimental puppy love. This was an act of   
commitment. His lips parted all the way, and he was able to breath in   
air from Abbey's lungs. At that moment, they lived and breathed as   
one.  
In what Jed could only imagine was an instinctual move, he   
probed her mouth with his tongue. He had to taste her fully. Never in   
his life had he kissed a woman like this. But, then again, never in   
his life was there anyone he could have pictured kissing in this way.  
Abbey responded in kind to Jed's shower of kisses. She nipped   
and nibbled on both his upper and lower lips. Jed seemed to like that   
tremendously. Abbey could tell because a moan escaped Jed's lips, and   
then he pressed himself even tighter against her. By now, there was   
no mistaking the pleasure Jed was feeling from even "just kissing."  
Abbey sat up in bed, pulling Jed up with her. Their lips   
never parted, but just kept exploring each another. As this   
continued, Abbey put her hands at the bottom of her borrowed Notre   
Dame sweatshirt, raised her arms in the air, and in one deft movement,   
removed it and threw it down on the floor.  
Jed was flabbergasted and relieved at the same time. He was   
relieved because he didn't think that his clumsy fingers would be able   
to remove a bra at this particular moment. He was flabbergasted at   
the amazing beauty that he saw before him.  
Abbey took Jed's hand in hers. She pulled him closer and   
placed his hand on her breast. "Touch me, Jed. Please, touch me."  
Jed obliged happily. He felt a bit awkward, but Abbey gave   
him all kinds of signals that helped to guide him as he explored her   
breasts. She encouraged him to touch her firmly, as she wasn't a   
china doll who would break. Abbey responded to Jed's caresses with   
some quiet sighs and an arching back.  
Jed never knew that nipples could become so hard. With both   
hands working with more confidence and ease now, he ran his fingers   
over the firm points of her breasts. He was amazed at what he had   
managed to accomplish so far (although he knew he had some help along   
the way). Jed marveled at the fact that her breasts seemed almost as   
hard as his penis.  
Abbey nuzzled Jed's neck and ran her short fingernails over   
his back. She wanted to feel her skin on his, so she pulled off his   
shirt and threw it on the floor as well. Her breathing shifted   
slightly, feeling his warm, smooth skin against her.  
Jed moved his lips down Abbey's long, slender neck-pausing   
only momentarily at the base to provide some spine-tingling sensations   
for her. Abbey, in response, placed her hands on Jed's head, ran her   
fingers through his hair and then moved him down to her breasts.  
Abbey moaned louder when Jed took her right breast into his   
mouth. He was incredibly skilled at knowing the exact balance between   
pleasure and pain. He pushed the envelope with her, adroitly   
alternating his use of tongue, teeth and suction.  
Abbey decided that it wasn't fair for her to be the only   
recipient of such bliss. She ran her fingernails down his back and   
slowly reached down under the waistband of his pants. Under her   
hands, she felt the smooth, firmness of Jed's ass. She teased him by   
lightly scratching his cheeks. Jed squirmed a little, but never   
removed is mouth from her breasts.  
After a while of this teasing, Abbey pushed down Jed's pants   
and reached around to the front of him. She felt Jed's jaw go slack   
as she wrapped her warm fingers around his penis.  
"Abbey," he groaned.  
"Take my sweatpants off, Jed. I want you now," Abbey told   
him.  
As Abbey stroked him, Jed moved as quickly as he could to   
remove his sweatpants from Abbey's body. He was rather clumsy, but he   
got the job done.  
Finally, there was nothing between the two lovers, except their rather   
warm and moist skin.  
Abbey pulled Jed on top of her, kissing him forcefully. She   
still had Jed in her hand and was stroking him faster now.  
Jed almost couldn't keep his mind in the game; the pleasure he   
was feeling so was so intense. Abbey's touch was just right. She'd   
bring him to the edge, and then somehow, miraculously, brought him   
down again-only setting him up for the ebb and flow once again. Well,   
two could play at that game.  
Jed reached down in between them, spread Abbey's legs just   
slightly, and started to explore the most sensitive areas of Abbey's   
being. Any hesitancy Jed had about this was dispersed, when Abbey   
pushed herself firmly into Jed's hand. Jed's fingers danced lightly   
all over Abbey, causing her to gasp and moan. Soon, Jed's fingers   
found a rhythm, stroking the bundle of nerves that rested in between   
Abbey's swollen lips.  
"My God, Jed...I'm so close..." Abbey moaned.  
"Abbey...I...." Jed trailed off...slowing his fingers just   
slightly.  
"What is it?" Abbey asked, surprised at the sudden change of   
pace.  
"I've...I've never done this before," Jed admitted, completely   
embarrassed.  
Abbey giggled, but only slightly, not wanting to kill the mood   
and touched by his confession. "Well, Jed Bartlet, you could have   
fooled me."  
Jed smiled at Abbey, and immediately thanked God for bringing   
such an incredible woman into his life.  
"I want you so much, Abbey. I need you."  
"Then, take what you want, Notre Dame." Abbey whispered.  
Jed kissed Abbey softly, and then continued to stroke Abbey,   
making sure that she was experiencing as much pleasure as he was. He   
knew that now was the time and that he was about to seal his future.   
And, never was he so sure about anything than at this moment.  
Abbey guided Jed into her. It wasn't as easy as Jed thought   
it was going to be; it took all of his concentration to make sure   
that this wasn't over in less than 20 seconds.  
But, he slowed himself down enough to now gain a rhythm with   
Abbey. They moved together as though they were doing a choreographed   
dance. Every give and take was timed perfectly, each providing the   
other with optimum joy.  
"Abbey...I'm..." Jed stammered. His breath was ragged and his   
body was sweltering.  
"It's ok, Jed. I'm not far behind you. I'm right here."   
Abbey gasped.  
Not able to hold back any longer, Jed allowed himself to let   
go. Every ounce of his being seemed to flow out of him and into   
Abbey. He knew that he could give all of himself to Abbey, because in   
Abbey's hands, he would be safe and content. His body convulsed   
wildly over hers, and Abbey's body moved quickly beneath his. The   
lovers continued to pull each other closer, as though they couldn't   
close the space between them enough.  
A few minutes passed before Jed seemed to be able to remember   
that he spoke the English language. He was still breathing rather   
hard, but he was able to speak.  
"Abbey?" he got out.  
"Yes, Jed?" Abbey answered, equally fatigued.  
"I love you."

Part 3

Time: Early AM, day after Thanksgiving 1966  
  
The music from the radio was still filling the room. To be   
honest, neither Jed nor Abbey had noticed the music or the weather   
updates until now. Up until now, the only thing they could hear was   
their own breathing and expressions of desire.  
Jed was sleeping lightly now, holding Abbey in his arms.   
There was an unmistakable, tender smile on his face. "It's so good to   
see him happy like this," Abbey thought to herself.  
But there was something that was left unsaid. Jed had told   
Abbey that he loved her and Abbey had not responded. Quite frankly,   
it was because she wasn't sure of what to say. It wasn't because she   
didn't feel the same way-it was more because she wasn't sure if Jed   
made this declaration due to a post-coital high or out of some form of   
"obligation" to her. Abbey wanted to believe Jed, for he had never   
lied to her before. However, there was a little something in the back   
of her mind that was holding her back. For now, though, she didn't   
have to say much of anything, as Jed was sleeping.  
"So much for keeping my promise", she said aloud.  
Jed stirred slightly. "Huh?" he said, his voice heavy with   
sleep.  
"Nothing, Jed. Go back to sleep. I'm right here," she told   
him, holding him closer.  
He kissed her forehead softly and dozed back off.  
Now this would be a long distance love affair: why couldn't   
things ever be simple?  
Abbey listened to the jazz music permeate the room. It was   
soothing and seemed to fit the mood just right.  
Jed had turned out to be quite a surprise in bed. Abbey had a   
hunch that he had never been with a woman before-ok, he was studying   
to be a priest; not exactly a long shot there, Abbey thought with a   
smile. And, while he seemed a little awkward at first-probably from   
nerves-he certainly had some tricks up his sleeve. He appeared to   
know every part of her: what spots on her body to place the most   
emphasis upon and just how to touch her to make her almost beg for   
more.  
But, what happened in bed meant more than just a roll in the   
sack: Abbey knew that. It was the start of something much bigger,   
and Abbey wasn't sure that either one of them were ready for where   
this was heading.  
Sleep would not come to relieve Abbey of the thoughts rolling   
around in her mind. And, then the mother of all thoughts popped up in   
Abbey's mind. A thought so jarring, it caused Abbey to sit upright in   
bed.  
Neither of them had been "prepared" for this little romp.   
Jesus! They hadn't used birth control!  
Abbey buried her head into her hands and let out a restrained,   
but still aggravated groan.  
"How could I be so stupid?!" Abbey cried out.  
Now it was Jed's turn to sit up in bed. "What?! What is it?"   
he muttered, coming back into consciousness.  
Abbey looked up at Jed. Her mind scrambled for what to say to   
him. Does she tell him of their little slip? What good what that do?   
How would he react? Hell, she didn't even know how she was reacting   
at this point...  
"Uh, it's nothing. I thought I heard something and I got   
scared," Abbey lied.   
"Scared? I didn't think that anything could scare you,   
Abbey," Jed teased, wrapping his arms around her.  
Abbey glared at Jed, but decided to let him slide on that one.   
"Well, I guess I just need a big strong man to protect me...know   
any?" Abbey returned.  
"Ha ha ha," Jed replied, pulling her closer to him. "I may   
not be big, but I think I'm pretty strong."  
"Oh, yeah?" Abbey asked. "Here I thought you were just this   
brainy guy, and now I find out that deep down, you're really a jock."  
"Well, we all have hidden talents," Jed said.  
"That, I will concede to you Jed Bartlet. You have a number   
of talents that I had NO idea you even could have fathomed."  
"I think you'll find I'm full of surprises, Abbey," Jed   
chuckled, kissing her neck.  
"Jed..." Abbey whispered. "Don't you think we should get some   
sleep?"  
"Mm hmm.." Jed replied, but continued to nuzzle at the nape of   
her neck.  
Abbey closed her eyes. Doing this once "without a net" was a   
mistake; but twice would simply be insane.  
"Aren't you tired?" Abbey tried to insist, but her resolve   
wasn't absolute.  
Jed was relentless, however, who shifted from nuzzling to   
nibbling. "A little, but I'm getting a sudden burst of energy. Must   
be some sort of second wind."  
"I...can..uh...tell..." Abbey stammered. Her will was waning   
quickly.  
"Abbey, come back to bed." Jed moaned.  
"I never left, Jed." she assured him, relaxing now in his   
arms. She arched her back, pushing her neck even more firmly against   
his mouth.  
He pulled her back down onto the bed, where Abbey temporarily   
forgot what she was worried about...  
  
A few hours later, Abbey awoke once again, having to use the   
bathroom desperately. She knew she had to leave quietly, so she would   
not be detected. For, if she was caught, Jed could be expelled. But,   
other than finding a pot or cup in the dorm room, she had no other   
choice but to go to the restroom. She climbed down off the bed, and   
tried to figure out the best way of getting to the floor's restroom   
and back. She glanced around the room in the early light of dawn and   
saw the sweatpants and shirt she so hastily discarded the night   
before. She quickly pulled them on. Then, she noticed a Notre Dame   
hat sitting on one of the desks. Abbey grabbed it, pulled her hair up   
and tucked it all up under the hat. "It's a good thing I got it cut   
recently," she thought to herself.  
She opened the door and quickly made her way to the restroom.   
Once finished, Abbey peeked out the door. The coast was clear. She   
pushed the door opened and ran down the hallway, back toward Jed's   
room.  
"What's your hurry?" Abbey heard an unfamiliar voice call out.  
She stopped dead in her tracks, not turning around, not even   
breathing...

Part 4

Abbey fought her instinct to run, knowing this would only   
cause more problems. She didn't want to move a muscle, afraid of   
giving herself away.  
"Where you goin' in such a hurry, young man?" the voice   
continued.  
Abbey cleared her throat softly and still didn't turn   
around. Her heart pounded loudly in her ears. The man's footsteps   
came closer and Abbey prayed for a miracle.  
"You live here?" the man asked.   
Abbey nodded, and pulled her hat down over her face slightly,   
hoping that she wouldn't be recognized as a woman.  
The man walked around in front of Abbey, trying to get a look   
at the apparent stranger. "Where?"  
Abbey tried to form words, but just couldn't. She pointed to   
Jed's room, knowing that she was about to be found out.  
Just then, Jed's door flew open. He stepped out into the   
hall.  
"Uh, he lives with me." Jed quickly interrupted.  
"He wasn't here when I came to get you yesterday," the   
janitor said suspiciously.  
"No, he was heading back to school a day early, hoping to   
beat the storm. He got stuck in the middle of this mess, and just   
got in," Jed explained. "After spending 6 hours in the car, he   
really had to go, if you know what I mean."  
"What's your name, son?" the janitor asked Abbey.  
"Miguel," Jed replied quickly. "He's an exchange student   
from Madrid. Just started here this semester. Unfortunately, he   
doesn't speak English very well." Jed pulled the janitor aside and   
then whispered. "It makes him feel pretty bad. He's real shy, you   
know?"  
The janitor looked at Jed, trying to determine whether or not   
he was telling the truth. He decided to let it go, at least for now.  
"O.k. Just don't be runnin' around the halls…all I need is   
to be cleaning up some mess from you guys `cause you banged your head   
or somethin'. I gotta get back to work." Then, he was gone.  
Jed grabbed Abbey by the hand and yanked her back inside.  
"Are you crazy!!??" Jed said in a loud whisper.  
"No!" Abbey replied.  
"Then, what were you doing out there?" Jed asked.  
"I had to go to the bathroom, Jed. Is that ok? I didn't   
think you'd want me doing that in your room. But, hey, next time,   
I'll just open up your window, drop my pants and take care of it that   
way. Sound all right to you?!" Abbey shouted.  
Jed took in a deep breath. "No, that wouldn't be all right.   
I don't want anyone seeing what you've got under those pants."  
Abbey sat down in a chair, and took off the hat. Her hair   
fell down around her face.  
"I'm sorry," Jed said, now in a more quiet tone. He sat on   
the floor beside her. "I woke up and you were gone…and I panicked, I   
guess."  
"You were just afraid of getting caught!" Abbey said   
defensively. She knew she probably should have told him she was   
leaving the room, but she didn't want to wake him. Now, she was   
getting angry—at him for yelling at her and at herself for…well, lots   
of things…  
Jed sighed. "Yes, that was part of it. But, mostly, I   
thought you had left without telling me."  
"Now, why would I do that?" Abbey inquired, sounding   
exasperated.  
"I thought that maybe you were having second thoughts about   
last night," Jed responded in a sullen voice.  
Abbey hesitated. "Are you having second thoughts?" she   
questioned.   
"No!" Jed insisted. "At least, not in the way you're   
thinking…"  
"Well, me neither." Abbey returned. " Last night was….well,   
it was incredible, Jed. I experienced an awakening, of sorts. It   
sounds stupid."  
"Don't say that! Last night, things that have been so hazy   
suddenly started to become very clear. You've always challenged me,   
Abigail. You keep my head on straight. Now, you've given me the   
vision to start to really see who I am and where I really want to go."  
Abbey smiled slightly, then became serious again. "You said   
you weren't having `those' types of second thoughts…so, what kind   
of `thoughts' are you having, exactly?"  
Jed lowered his eyes. "Well…"  
"Jed, please. I think we need to talk about it before I go."   
Abbey said.  
"I know. Well…first, I hope that you…uh…didn't feel   
pressured into doing what we did last night."  
Abbey laughed out loud just a little. "Jed, exactly who   
climbed into your bed?  
I think I did. If anything, I was worried that I pressured you."  
"You didn't," Jed said with conviction. "I wanted that to   
happen. I've wanted that with you for longer than even I would have   
thought."  
"O.k, so what else is on your mind." Abbey wanted to keep   
Jed talking, in the hopes of keeping her mind off of her own concerns.  
"Abbey," Jed started, then hesitated. Abbey noticed he   
looked upset.  
"Jed, what is it?"   
"I owe you a huge apology," he whispered.  
"Why?"  
"Because I'm a damned irresponsible fool!" he blurted out.  
Abbey looked at him with confusion. "Jed, what the hell are   
you talking about?"  
"I…I should have stopped, but I couldn't…well, for obvious   
reasons…I should have stopped."  
Abbey looked down. "It's my fault, Jed…I knew we weren't   
prepared to make love. I had no protection. I pretty much knew that   
you wouldn't have any. I knew and I still…" she trailed off.  
Jed took her hand. "It's both of our responsibility, Abbey.   
Both of us. Do you hear me? I knew what I was doing, too. I didn't   
do anything to stop it."  
The two of them sat in silence for a few moments.  
"Jed, what if…" Abbey began.  
"We'll cross that bridge when and if it comes. In the   
meantime, let's focus on the fact that the chances of anything   
happening are pretty slim. Let's look at the positives, ok?" Jed   
tried to smile.  
"O.k." Abbey replied, returning his smile, yet she was still   
worried. Yes, the chances are slim…but the chance is still there…  
"When do you have to leave?" Jed asked.  
"Tonight. My first class isn't until Tuesday morning. But,   
I need to leave tonight. It's a long trip back."  
"I understand," Jed said.  
"I don't want to leave," Abbey confessed.  
"And I don't want you to go…but I don't think that you can   
pull of your alter ego of Miguel for too long. Besides, I don't want   
to share you with my roommate." Jed told her, with a wink.  
Abbey laughed.  
"That's better," Jed said, laughing with her. "Now, come on,   
let's go out and get a bite to eat before I have to drop you off. I   
know you got here on your own—because you're a modern, independent   
kind of woman. But, there's not way I'm letting you go that easily."  
Jed and Abbey finished getting ready to leave. As Abbey   
finished packing the last item in her one small bag, Jed handed her   
his sweatshirt.  
"Take this with you?" Jed offered. "I want you to have   
something that will help you remember your time here."  
"I don't think I need anything tangible to help me remember   
this weekend, but I'll take it anyway. I feel closer to you when I   
wear it," she admitted. "It sounds so high school, but I don't care."  
"Neither do I. Let's go."  
The two of them peered out the door to make sure no one was   
there. Seeing that everything looked safe, they hurried to the back   
set of stairs and headed down to the front door. Just as they   
reached the exit, they heard a now familiar voice.  
"Have a safe trip, miss."  
Jed and Abbey froze for a split second, then turned around.   
They were caught!  
"Sir, please," Abbey began frantically. "This isn't Jed's   
fault…please don't get him in trouble!"  
All Jed could do at this point was stand and stare, his   
academic future (or lack thereof) flashing before his eyes.  
"All I said was have a safe trip," the janitor said with a   
smile and a wink.  
Abbey sighed with relief and smiled. "Thank you, sir! Thank   
you so much!" This time, Abbey took Jed's hand and pulled him out of   
the dormitory.

Part 5

Time: Late November 1966  
  
The ride out to the train station was almost completely   
silent. As Jed drove the car through the snow-covered landscape, he'd   
take a quick sideways glance at Abbey. How was he going to let her   
leave? She was part of him now: ingrained into his very being. But,   
he knew that each of them had to pursue their own studies. Jed   
realized that what made them so complementary to one another was their   
individuality and independence. However, although Jed's brain   
realized that this made sense, his heart was heavy at the thought of   
being separated from this woman.  
Jed did wonder, though, why Abbey was so quiet. Maybe she was   
thinking the same way as he was. Or maybe she was having regrets   
about what had happened. Jed wanted to ask, but something told him to   
remain silent. If Abbey was having second thoughts, Jed wasn't sure   
he was ready to hear about that just yet.  
They found the train station relatively empty. The   
combination of the snow and the holiday weekend kept most people in   
their homes. This was a stark difference from the last time the two   
of them said goodbye at a train station. The hustle and bustle of   
Boston made the goodbye a little easier then. Of course, so did the   
fact that they were just on the verge on getting to know one another.   
Things were a little more entwined and complicated now.  
Abbey, meanwhile, sat on a bench and tried to think of a way   
to make this parting a little easier. Everything happened so quickly   
regarding this trip: from the planning, to the arrival, to the   
sleeping arrangements…Her head was swimming with all the emotions that   
had surfaced over the past 48 hours. She had yet to tell Jed "I love   
you". He hadn't said anything about this to her about this, and Abbey   
was, admittedly, relieved. Saying those words were the clincher…there   
was no going back…and she wasn't quite ready for that.  
But, in looking at Jed, she knew that it was likely that he   
was "the one". She rolled her eyes at the thought-it sounded like   
something she would have written in her diary years ago as a young   
schoolgirl. Yet, there was no mistaking about how she felt when she   
was with him-whether it be just sitting and talking, writing letters   
back and forth, and even making love. It all just worked, in spite of   
(or maybe because) of their differences. But, there were so many   
years between now and the time when they could be together-Jed won't   
finish with his studies for quite some time, as graduate school is   
destined for the gifted young man. And, Lord knows that Abbey has   
many years of medical school and training to complete. With all these   
thoughts running around in her mind, Abbey unconsciously sighed out   
loud.  
"You ok?" Jed asked, sitting down next to her on the bench.  
"Huh? Yeah. Why do you ask?"  
"You sighed heavily. You don't usually do that unless I say   
something incredibly stupid or insensitive," Jed remarked with a sly   
grin.  
Abbey laughed out loud. Leave it to Jed to try to infuse some   
humor into this moment.  
"It's good to see you smile," Jed said. "I haven't seen that   
too much over the past few days."  
Abbey lowered head slightly.  
"Abbey, all I want is for you to be happy, ok? That's what is   
most important. Everything else, we can work around."  
Abbey raised her eyes to Jed. "Thank you, Jed. I hope so."  
"I know so," he replied confidently, at least he hoped it   
sounded confident.  
Their conversation was interrupted by the announcement for   
Abbey's train. The two of them stood up simultaneously and headed   
toward the appropriate departure area. Jed took Abbey's bag from her   
and switched it over to his left hand to carry it. Then, tentatively,   
he took Abbey's left hand in his right one. When she closed her   
fingers around his, Jed couldn't help but smile.  
When they finally reached the train, Jed set down Abbey's bag   
and then took both of her hands into his. He looked at her,   
scrambling for something romantic and witty to say. Of course, as was   
typical for Jed, nothing came to mind when he needed it. But, he'd   
have to give it a shot, as he wasn't going to let her leave without so   
much as a word from him.  
"Thank you, Abbey. For coming out here…for truly giving me   
something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving." Jed paused for a   
moment and then quickly added "…and I'm not talking about what you   
think...well, you know…"  
Abbey smiled at Jed's awkwardness-it was such a contrast to   
his intelligence and his usual verbal skill. Still, it was an   
endearing quality.  
"Will you still write to me?" he asked her.  
"Of course I will," she assured him.  
"I promise I'll try to be better at responding," Jed stated   
sheepishly.   
"You'd better, because if you don't, I'll come back out here   
and kick your butt, Notre Dame," Abbey retorted.  
Jed smiled and gave Abbey a wink. "Well then, maybe I won't   
write, if it will bring you back to me sooner."  
"Yeah," Abbey said quietly.  
"Abbey…I…" Jed wanted to tell Abbey how he was falling in love   
with her-how he had fallen in love with her. But, Jed knew that Abbey   
was still probably a little hesitant about all of this. He would bide   
his time and wait until the moment was right. He had already told her   
he loved her once…he knew she heard it and absorbed it. There was no   
need to push the issue. He took in a breath and held it for a moment.  
"Jed?" Abbey inquired.  
"I'll miss you," he said, letting his breath out quickly.   
"Call me when you get in. Let me know you're all right."  
"I will, I promise," she told him.  
"Good. I'll be waiting. You'd better get going."  
Abbey looked at Jed carefully, trying to capture his image in   
her mind to bring back with her.  
"I'll talk to you later, then," Abbey said.  
"O.k." Jed answered.  
Abbey turned to go, tears stinging in her eyes. She didn't   
want Jed to see her like this-she hated letting anyone see her cry.   
Jed, she thought, would never let her hear the end of it. Still, she   
couldn't help but turn back around, go back to Jed and firmly embrace   
him. Jed, his stance remaining stoic, held her tightly.  
"It's ok," he whispered.  
Tears finally betrayed Abbey's feelings. They ran freely down   
her cheeks. She held his face in her hands, pulled him to her and   
kissed him softly on the lips.  
"Goodbye, Notre Dame," she managed and made a hasty retreat to   
the train, just as it was getting ready to leave. Abbey ducked   
inside, not wanting to look at Jed as she left.  
Jed stood on the platform until he could no longer see her   
train in the distance. It was then that he noticed how cold and   
biting the wind felt on his skin. Funny, he didn't pick up on that   
before.  
Jed went back to his dorm and attempted to keep himself   
occupied with his studies. Ordinarily, Jed was not distracted easily   
from his work; yet, today he had a hard time staying focused. "This   
isn't going to be easy," Jed thought to himself.  
Late that night, there was a knock on Jed's door. Jed saw the   
custodian standing at the door.  
"You've got a phone call, son," the man said with a grin. "I think   
it's your guest."  
"Thank you," Jed replied quickly and raced to the phone.  
"Hello?" Jed said into the phone, almost breathless.  
"Hey, Notre Dame," Abbey said on the other line. "Why are you out of   
breath? Did I pull you away from one of those girls you hide in your   
room?"  
Jed laughed. "Oh, yeah, right. Actually, you pulled me away from my   
Macroeconomics text."  
"How am I supposed to compete with that?" Abbey teased. "I'd almost   
rather it be another woman than that."  
"Very funny. Your trip was ok?" Jed asked.  
"Fine. But, I'm tired."  
"Then, go to bed," Jed instructed. "I'll call you later in the week."  
"Ok," Abbey agreed.  
"Good night, Abbey."  
"Good night, Jed. Oh, Jed?"  
"Yeah?" Jed replied.  
"I love you."  
Jed smiled. "I love you, too, Abbey."  
"'Bye," Abbey said.  
"'Bye," Jed echoed.  
As Jed walked back to his room, he started to whistle-something that   
was a bit uncharacteristic for Jed. He just never really had a reason   
to do it before, he supposed.  
"She seems like quite a woman," the custodian said.  
"She sure is," Jed answered, opening his door. "She sure is."

Part 6

Time: December 1966  
  
"I thought we were going to continue writing!" Abbey said. "These phone calls are going to break you!"  
"Let me worry about that, Dr. Bartlet," Jed told her.  
"I'm not a doctor, yet, Jed. And, I've got a long way to go.   
And, I know why you keep calling on the phone, Notre Dame. You hate   
writing. I've got you figured out," scolded Abbey playfully.  
"Shows how much you know…I call instead of write because I   
love hearing your voice-even when you're giving me a hard time," he   
replied sarcastically.  
"Watch it!" Abbey answered.  
"Seriously, I just like talking to you better than writing to   
you. It's not that I hate writing…but talking to you…"  
"I know, Jed. I'm just teasing."  
"I know."  
"So, you are coming going home to New Hampshire for Christmas   
next week, right?" Abbey asked.  
Jed sighed. "I guess so."  
"Don't sound so thrilled…anyway, I was hoping that we could   
get together over the break."  
"Oh, in that case, New Hampshire, here I come."  
"Are you going to tell your folks about your decision?"  
"I don't even want to think about that now, Abbey. I have a   
week of finals and then I'm heading home. I'll deal with that when I   
get there-maybe."  
"Coward."  
"I've been called worse in my time," Jed said truthfully.  
"Listen, I've gotta run, Jed," Abbey said.  
"Hey, are you ok?" Jed asked in a concerned tone.  
"Of course, why do you ask?"  
"You sound a little tired. You coming down with something?"  
"Maybe. I've been up late lately studying for finals." Abbey   
said wearily.  
"Take care of yourself, Dr. Bartlet. Although I hear that   
doctors make the worst patients."  
"Yeah, yeah. I'll talk to you later." Abbey  
"Ok. I'll talk to you soon," Jed replied.  
"Write me!" Abbey loudly told Jed before he hung up.  
Jed chuckled as he hung up the phone.  
"Hey Bartlet!"  
Jed turned around and saw one of his floor mates standing   
behind him. "Yeah?"  
"You keep using the phone this much, it's gonna become   
permanently attached to your damn ear!"  
"Ha ha ha." Jed said.  
"You've got some mail here," the student told him, handing him   
some envelopes.  
"Great! Thanks!" Jed replied, taking the mail eagerly. He   
headed back to his room and sat on his bed.  
He ripped open the first envelope. It was a note from Abbey:   
  
  
Dear Notre Dame,  
Remember these? Letters? Writing? When you put pen to paper   
and you communicate with others? I thought so. I'm going to start   
calling you Alexander Graham Bell. Seriously, I really love your   
letters, Jed. Maybe once things calm down a little and finals are   
over, we can start our written correspondence again.  
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I miss you and I love   
you. Your decision to leave the seminary is a huge one, and I   
appreciate that. I hope that I am not the only reason why you made   
this choice, but, selfishly, I am glad you did. So, instead you're   
going to study Economics. I don't know how you'll get through all of   
your courses and not fall asleep, but I say more power to you. Maybe   
you're the person who can somehow get this messed up country back on   
track-Lord knows we need all the help we can get.  
Are you going to tell your folks about your choice? You   
really should, Jed. I don't know much about your family, but I can't   
imagine why they wouldn't support your choice-being an economist isn't   
like you are going to run away to the circus. I would be (and am)   
proud of you. How could your family not be??? But then again, you   
haven't shared too much with me about your family. I'm here to   
listen, Jed. You just have to share.  
Well, I have to go-the books are calling. I guess I'll talk   
to you before I get a letter from you. But, I can always hope and   
keep checking my mail.  
I love you, Jed.  
Love, Abbey  
  
Jed folded the note, put it back in the envelope and placed it   
carefully with all the other letters from Abbey. He knew he'd have to   
sit down and talk with Abbey about his father sometime. He just   
wanted to put it off as long as possible. After all, why talk about   
his father when there were more pleasant things to discuss.  
Jed grabbed the second envelope and opened it. He rolled his   
eyes…Speak of the devil:

  
Josiah,   
I'm assuming that you are going to grace us with your presence   
for the Christmas holiday. I certainly hope so, because your mother   
would be greatly disappointed if you choose not to come home.   
Personally, I have no idea why you wanted to spend the Thanksgiving   
holiday by yourself at school, but I am getting to the point in my   
life where I realize it is pointless to debate things with you. You   
are convinced that you have all the answers. Eventually, you will   
discover that you do not know it all.  
I am assuming that school is going along fine for you. Of   
course, I expect that we will discuss your grades and performance   
while you are home. In this area, I must admit, you have yet to   
disappoint us, Josiah.  
Enclosed you will find money for a train ticket home and I expect you   
to use it for exactly that.  
I'll see you in a little over a week.  
Dad  
  
Jed took the money out of the envelope and proceeded to   
crumple up the letter and tossed it in the trash. Bastard. If he   
didn't need the money, he'd trash that, too. But, Jed wouldn't   
disappoint his mother to spite his father. However, Jed was not   
looking forward to time spent at home. Oh, his parents are going to   
be thrilled with his little bits of news. Hopefully, he would find a   
way to get together with Abbey over the holiday. Otherwise, Jed   
thought, he would lose his mind.  
Jed sighed as he opened the last letter. He was stunned to   
find it was from Leo. Jed eagerly read:  
  
Hey Jed!  
What the hell is this? I go over to Southeast Asia and you go   
to hell in a hand basket…Is it true? Have you really started   
communicating on a regular basis with Abbey? What does this mean? Is   
love in the air? Isn't this a bit of a conflict with your pastoral   
studies? Ha ha ha.  
Listen, Jed. I'm giving you crap, but you know that I never   
thought that you'd make a good priest. Don't get me wrong, it's not   
that you couldn't do the job. It's just that I think you would have   
been limiting yourself and your talents…and I'm not just referring to   
the sex part-although that's not such a bad deal either. You have so   
much potential. Sounds corny, but tough, because I mean it!  
Abbey will give ya a run for your money, old friend. I wish   
you luck. You're gonna need it! Although I think she may be the best   
thing that has come along in your sad life-except for me, of course!   
Just kidding!  
Vietnam is…well, interesting. The amount of confusion,   
poverty and despair is almost as heartbreaking as the physical wounds   
and casualties. Fortunately, my unit hasn't been too active on the   
front lines, but I think our time is coming soon. I've met some crazy   
s.o.b.s over here. You'd probably like them, even if they are a   
little "out there" for your taste.   
So, don't worry about me. I'm doing fine. I miss home like   
crazy. This isn't a great way to spend a honeymoon, but fortunately   
the wife understands. I really am a lucky man to have Jenny waiting   
home for me. I don't know when I'm coming home, but it can't be soon   
enough.  
Write me and let me know what is going on with you. I'm tired   
of hearing second hand accounts. I want the dirt directly from you.  
Take care, old friend and God Bless.  
Love, Leo.  
  
Jed wiped away a tear from his eye. There was hole in his   
life with Leo across the world. Every night, Jed would pray for Leo's   
safety and for his swift return to the States. But, Jed knew that   
this conflict would not be short-lived. But, if anyone could get out   
of a scrap like this, it was Leo. His tough, Irish background   
provided the guts and smarts to get him out of most anything that came   
his way.

  
Abbey sat in her dorm room, barely able to keep her eyes open.   
She had read the same page in her anatomy text about four times now.   
Jesus, she thought, I just can't stay awake!  
Abbey's roommate looked over from the desk she was sitting at   
and saw Abbey dozing off again.  
"Hey, sleeping beauty! You're never gonna get your studying   
done like that!"  
"I know," Abbey said with a yawn.  
"What is with you? You're usually the one that studies all   
night and is in every class. Over the past week, I find you napping   
all the time."  
"I don't know."  
"You've been overdoing it, superwoman," Abbey's roommate   
scolded.  
"That I do know. I think I'm coming down with something."  
"The flu's been going around, but if I were you, I'd head over   
to the infirmary. You medical students think you can self diagnose."  
"If I'm not feeling better in another day or so. I'll head   
over. I think it might be mono." Abbey told her.  
"Great! Stay away from me then! I'm heading to the library,   
wanna come?"  
"I thought you just told me to stay away from you."  
"Yeah, well. I didn't mean it. So, you wanna come?"  
"Nah. I think I'll stay here, grab a quick snack and keep   
studying."  
"Ok, but if I find you asleep when I get back, I'm dumping   
cold water on you."  
"Don't worry, I won't be. I'll catch ya later."  
With that, Abbey's roommate picked up her books and headed out   
the door.   
As soon as she was alone, Abbey pulled out her calendar and   
noted the circled date..December 21..She sat in silence, just staring   
at the bright red circle glaring back at her.  
"Damn it!" she screamed, hurling the calendar across the room.   
"Almost another whole week. This waiting is going to kill me."  
In reality, it was not telling anyone what she was waiting for   
that was killing her. Keeping all of it bottled up inside was making   
her tired and distracted.   
"How am I going to get through this week?" she said, sitting   
in the chair by the desk, placing her head down on the tabletop.

Part 7

Time: December 1966  
  
With her last final for the semester complete, Abbey knew she   
should be feeling elated, but her utter exhaustion seemed to put a   
damper on whatever enthusiasm she would have in ordinary   
circumstances. She trudged through the cold, wet snow back to her   
dorm, dreading the packing she had to finish in order to get ready to   
go home for the extended holiday break.  
She entered her room, noting that her roommate must still be   
around somewhere, as her large bag of laundry remained in the corner   
of the room. Abbey tossed her keys down onto the desk, dropped her   
books on the floor, and plopped down on her stripped bed.  
Just then, her roommate walked in. "You finished?"  
"Yes, I just got done with my last final," Abbey said with a   
sigh.  
"Great! You must be relieved."   
"That's an understatement," she replied. Abbey sat upright on   
her bed. "Now is one of those times that I wonder why the hell I am   
going into medicine, when I can easily do something less stressful."  
"You're a masochist, plain and simple. But, don't worry about   
that now. Get your stuff together and get the hell out of here-forget   
about pre-med for a few weeks. Go home, meet up with your man and   
have a great time!"  
Abbey sat quietly on her bed for a moment, before getting up   
and resuming her packing. Normally, Abbey was meticulous about   
packing: making sure everything was folded neatly and placed properly   
into suitcases or boxes. At this point, however, she simply threw   
items she knew she would need into her bag.  
At the same time, her roommate was throwing things together in   
her efforts to get out of there as quickly as she could. She grabbed   
a stack of papers on the desk, and a small pocket calendar fell on the   
floor.  
"Oops. I think this is yours, Abbey," she picked it up and   
tossed it to Abbey. Abbey caught it and opened it up, looking   
intently at a marked page in the book. Immediately, Abbey's face   
crumpled and she began to cry.  
"Abbey, my God, what is it?" her roommate asked. She had   
never seen Abbey cry before-pissed off, yes…but cry, not once. Maybe   
the exhaustion was finally getting to her, she thought.  
Abbey shook her head forcefully, as though trying to shake the   
thoughts right out of her head.  
"Come on, Abbey, I know something's wrong. It'll help if you   
tell someone."  
Abbey sat down on the floor, which seemed the closest and most   
convenient location. She crossed her legs and started to rock back   
and forth, just slightly, in silence.  
"Abbey!" her roommate said in a raised and worried voice.  
"I think I'm pregnant," Abbey whispered.  
  
  
Jed looked out the window of the train, and started to   
recognize the landscape of his beloved New Hampshire. He had   
forgotten how majestic the White Mountains of his home state were.   
The flat landscape of Indiana seemed barren and uninspiring in   
comparison. Jed suddenly felt a little more at ease. He was home-for   
better or for worse.  
It wasn't long before the train began to slow and pull into   
the station. Jed looked out the window to see if anyone was waiting   
for him. He couldn't see very clearly, as dusk started to descend   
upon the sky. He grabbed his two bags and hurried off of the train.  
Stepping off of the car, Jed looked around, trying to catch a   
glimpse of anyone he recognized.  
"Josiah!"  
Jed could not mistake that voice. He turned toward it and saw   
his mother rushing toward him. Jed dropped his bags and ran to her.  
"Mom!" he said, opening his arms.  
"Josiah! Welcome home!" she cried, practically falling into   
his arms and crushing him with the force of her embrace.  
Jed swallowed hard. "It's so good to see you, Mom." And, it   
was. He hadn't realized his desire to see his mother was this strong   
until this very moment.  
"Jed."  
Jed's back immediately straightened and tensed up. He turned   
around slowly and saw his father standing before him.  
"Sir," Jed acknowledged, somewhat quietly, yet firmly.  
"Let's get in the car and go home. You and your mother can   
talk in the car," Mr. Bartlet said in a matter of fact tone and   
immediately started to walk off. Jed's mother silently followed her   
husband. Jed went back, picked up his bags and followed his parents   
to the car.  
All the way home, Jed's mother told Jed of local news-items   
that, to Jed, seemed a little silly and superficial, but charming in   
their own way. New Hampshire was almost a world unto itself-just   
slightly removed from the rest of civilization. And, even though Jed   
found this provincial and quaint, he was proud to be part of this   
heritage.  
The car pulled into the drive of the Bartlet home and the snow   
started to softly fall. Jed noticed the decorations for the holiday   
season and saw the Christmas tree in the window. It all seemed so   
festive on the outside-how ironic.  
"John will be home in a few days," Mrs. Bartlet told Jed as   
she got out of the car. "Your brother is anxious to see you."  
"Oh, good," Jed replied. "It's been a while."  
"Why don't you go inside. Jed and I will take care of his   
bags," Mr. Bartlet asked.  
"Oh, all right, dear," Mrs. Bartlet answered and went inside.  
Jed stood very still in the darkness, wondering what his   
father was up to. He never offered to help him with his bags before.   
There must be something wrong.  
Mr. Bartlet turned to Jed, and solemnly pulled out a letter.   
"Well, Jed…you're transferring out of the seminary program, are you?"  
Jed stood there in silence.  
"You received a copy of your transfer confirmation in this   
afternoon's mail," Mr. Bartlet said. Even in the absence of light,   
Jed could see the smug grin on his father's face.  
"So, you couldn't handle the program? Too much of a sacrifice   
for your pride?" his father glibly asked.  
Jed took in a deep breath and replied, "No sir. I just found   
something that I think my talents are much better suited toward."  
"And what exactly would that be?"  
"Economics, sir." Take that, you uptight son of a bitch, Jed   
thought to himself.  
"And what exactly do you intend to do with an Economics   
degree?"  
"Perhaps teach, sir. I'm not sure."  
"I see. That way, you can dispense your wisdom to the mass of   
our younger generations."  
Jed did not answer.  
"Your 'change in career goal'--It wouldn't have anything to do   
with a young woman named Abbey, would it?"  
Jed could feel the hair on the back of his head start to stand   
on end. You don't want to go there, you bastard…  
"You also got a letter from her today. Sounds like an   
interesting woman, Jed. You know, I guess I shouldn't be surprised   
that you would be so weak as to fall for a woman's wiles. I suppose   
it's better that you found out now that you cannot resist basic   
temptation-before you took the vows."  
"I didn't realize that you had nothing better to do than read   
other people's mail, sir. Perhaps retirement isn't your cup of tea."  
Jed expected the sting of the back of his father's hand across   
his face-and he wasn't disappointed. He was, however, surprised at   
the force of the blow-after all, it had been a while since his last   
encounter with his father and he wasn't as used to it as he had been   
in the past.  
"You watch your mouth, young man. I will not have you talk to   
me in that way."  
"Are we finished, then?" Jed asked in a biting tone.  
"I'll tell you when we're finished!" his father boomed.  
Jed's eyes never left his father's. He wasn't going to back   
down this time.  
"We're done for now. But, count on this, this discussion is   
not over."  
"Can I at least have my mail back?" Jed asked defiantly.  
Mr. Bartlet handed over the two envelopes in silence.  
Jed yanked them from his father's hand, picked up his bags and   
walked inside.  
  
  
"Oh God, Abbey are you sure? I mean, really sure?" her   
roommate asked.  
"No. But I'm pretty sure. I'm late and I've been feeling so   
lousy. I was hoping it was just the flu, but I doubt that's what it   
is." Abbey wiped the tears from her eyes.  
"Weren't you careful?"  
"No. I got swept away in the moment. Can you believe that!!!   
Swept away! I knew better…and I still went on…"  
"Well, Jed had a hand in this, too…at least…"  
"This is not his fault!" Abbey insisted.  
"It's nobody's fault, Abbey. I'm just saying…"  
"I know what you're saying."   
"Have you told Jed, yet?"   
"No."  
"Are you going to?" she demanded.  
"Eventually," Abbey answered.  
"What the hell does that mean?"  
"When I go and find out exactly what is going on…"  
"He should know. He can help you."  
Abbey laughed out loud. "How can he help me? What can he   
do?"  
"He can be there for you." The roommate paused for a moment,   
then continued, "You shut yourself down too much, Abbey. You think   
that you can handle everything yourself. And, pretty much, you   
can…but you don't have to, you know. Leaning on others doesn't make   
you weak; it only makes you stronger. Think about that. I'm going to   
the bathroom."  
Abbey sat on the floor, taking in the words that her friend   
offered. And, as much as she hated to admit it-she was right.   
But, how could she tell Jed this? "Jed, I might be pregnant…I   
could be pregnant…" Nothing sounded right-but she'd have to come up   
with something, and soon. Jed wasn't dumb. He'd figure out something   
was going on.  
Abbey tossed a few more things in her bag. She glanced around   
the room, checking for any forgotten items. Then, she knew she had   
one last thing to do before she left for break. She opened her door   
and headed down the hall, where she ran into her roommate, who was on   
her way back to the dorm room.  
"Where you going?" her roommate asked.  
"Making a phone call," Abbey replied.  
Abbey got to the phone and sat down. She picked up the   
receiver, dropped a coin into it.  
"Operator," the voice on the other end said.  
"Manchester, New Hampshire, please," Abbey replied. "I need   
you to look up a number for me."

Time: December 1966  
  
Abbey jotted down the number on her hand and hung up the   
receiver. She contemplated about making the call to Jed. Rarely was   
she ever at a loss for words, but this situation left her speechless.  
"No, I have to do this," Abbey thought to herself, picking   
the receiver back up.  
She dialed the phone and waited for an answer. She could   
barely hear the ringing on the other end because her heart was   
beating so loudly in her ears.  
"Bartlet residence," a curt older male's voice answered.  
Abbey cleared her throat. This must be Jed's father. "Yes,   
is Jed there, please?"  
A protracted silence was the initial response to Abbey's   
question. "Hold on a moment," replied the voice. Then, another long   
silence.  
Finally, the silence was broken.  
"Hello?" Jed said into the phone.  
"Jed! Hi!" Abbey answered, sounding a little more   
enthusiastic than she probably should. "How was your trip?"  
"Fine," Jed replied quietly.  
Abbey noticed that Jed sounded on edge and a little distant.  
"Everything all right?" Abbey asked.  
"As much as could be expected, I suppose," Jed said with a   
hint of sarcasm in his voice.  
"What is it?" Abbey questioned. Jed didn't sound right, and   
she was becoming worried.  
"Nothing," Jed responded. "How are you?"  
"So-so," Abbey answered. "I miss you terribly."  
"Me too," said Jed. "You still sound pretty tired, Abbey."  
"I am tired, but I'm almost ready to get out of here and head   
home."  
"Good."  
Something was definitely up with him, Abbey thought to   
herself; but it was pretty clear that he wasn't ready to discuss it   
at the moment.  
"Jed, I need to talk to you about something," Abbey said,   
trying to hold back her emotions.  
"Is it serious?" Jed inquired. Now he was the one who was   
concerned.  
"Yes," Abbey stated. "I wanted to talk to you now, but I   
don't think we should do this over the phone."  
Jed was quiet for a moment. He looked over at his father,   
who was glaring at him with obvious disapproval.  
"I agree," Jed said sadly.  
"When can I see you?" Abbey asked.  
"I don't know. Probably the earliest would be the day after   
Christmas."  
"Fine. How are we going to do this?"  
Jed sat and thought for a moment, then turned his back to his   
father. After a second or two, he whispered into the phone. "How   
about we meet in Boston. It's the just about halfway for both of us."  
"O.k. I think I can do that," Abbey told him.  
"Good. Abbey?"  
"Yes, Jed?"   
"Are you ok?" Jed asked with concern.  
"Yes, Jed. I'm ok."  
Jed took a breath in and held it momentarily. "Are we ok?"   
he whispered.  
"I hope so, Jed. Because, I need for us to be ok."  
Jed smiled weakly. "We're fine, Abbey. At least as far as   
I'm concerned."  
"I needed to hear that, Jed. You have no idea how much I   
needed to hear that."  
"You should get going. You've got a long trip home."  
"You're right." Abbey said, checking her watch.  
"Be careful. Take care of yourself."  
"I promise, I will. I love you, Jed."  
"I love you, Abbey. I'll be in touch soon."  
"All right. Good bye, Jed."  
"Good bye, Abbey." Jed said to her, and then hung up the   
phone.  
Jed stood up and turned around with the intention of heading   
to his bedroom.  
"She's calling you at home, hm?" Mr. Bartlet asked his son.   
Jed stared at his father angrily.  
"You think you're going to Boston?"  
"I am going to Boston," Jed answered.  
Mr. Bartlet crossed his arms in front of him. "You're not   
going on my dime. Not to meet some girl for a little tryst in the   
city."  
Jed gritted his teeth. "First, I didn't ask you for a cent.   
Second, if you think I'm going to see Abbey for something that crass   
and uninspired, then I feel sorry for you. Mr. Bartlet's eyes   
narrowed slightly. "You've become even more bold. I think I   
preferred you when you were studying to be a priest."  
"I'm sure that you did. You see, you mistook my desire my   
commitment to my faith as a sign of weakness. I can assure you, sir,   
that is not the case," Jed said.  
"And, let me assure you, young man, that you will not be   
allowed to continue strutting around like a peacock. You think that   
you are so smart. You think that you are better than everyone else   
is. You've always been that way, even since you were a boy."  
"Oh, yes, I know, sir. But, that's because ever since I was   
a boy, you have gone out of your way to show me how little you expect   
of me…and even then, I would be damned to prove you right."  
Jed's father reached out and grabbed Jed by the shirt, "How   
dare you! You need to be taught a lesson."  
"Get your damn hands off of me!" Jed yelled at him.  
Suddenly, another voice interjected into the heated   
conversation. "Jed! Please! What is going on?" his mother cried.  
Both Jed and his father froze and turned to face the   
frightened woman.  
"Stay out of this. Your son needs to be taught some   
manners." Jed's father warned.  
"Let him go, right now!" Mrs. Bartlet screamed.  
Mr. Bartlet let go of Jed's shirt and turned abruptly to face   
his wife. "That's right, defend the prodigal son. You've always   
taken his side. Never mind the fact that he's an arrogant bastard   
who has no respect for his elders and thinks he knows it all."  
Jed remained standing behind his father, seething at his   
father's harsh remarks.  
"Well, let's see what you think about your son now that he's   
fallen off his alabaster pedestal. Did you know that your son has   
decided not to be a priest?!" Mr. Bartlet yelled to his wife. "Your   
perfect son has got himself a woman that he's shacking up with! He's   
going to study Economics, he says. I'm sure he thinks he's going to   
change the world with his lofty goals. So much for faith and   
devotion—once a little piece of tail comes along, he changes his   
tune."  
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Jed found himself rushing toward   
his father, grabbing him and punching him in the face.  
Jed stood over his father, who by now was on the floor. "So   
help me God, if I ever hear you talk about Abbey like that again…or   
hear you talk to mom like that again, I will hit you again! Do I   
make myself clear? You may have bullied us when I was a kid. But, I   
won't allow it anymore!"  
Jed's father stayed on the floor, holding his chin in his   
hand. He had a dazed and confused expression on his face.  
Jed turned to his mother, who was crying at this   
point. "Mom, I'm so sorry. I can't do this. I can't stay here. I   
have to go. Please, you have to know that I didn't mean to hurt   
you." Tears started to sting Jed's eyes now. "You must know that I   
love you, but I can't stay here anymore."  
"I understand," Mrs. Bartlet whispered through her tears.   
Jed turned and went to get his bags. His mother followed him.  
"Where will you go?" she asked him.  
"I don't know, but I'll let you know when I get there. It's   
only for a few weeks until I go back to school." Jed promised.  
Jed looked down at the floor. "I've ruined your holiday,   
Mom. I am so sorry."  
She took Jed's hand in hers. "No, sweetheart. You didn't do   
anything."  
"I've disappointed you," Jed muttered. "I'm not going to be   
a priest."  
"Josiah, being a priest is an admirable calling—but it's not   
for everyone. If you aren't going to be happy, what's the point of   
that? You deserve to be happy, son."  
"Thank you, mom. I love you."  
"And I love you, Josiah. Promise me you'll be careful. But,   
I know that whatever you decided to do, you'll be fine."  
"I promise I'll be careful and that I'll be in touch.," he   
said, giving her a kiss and moving to the front door.  
Jed opened the door, took one look behind him and walked out   
of the house.  
The snow was collecting quickly on the ground now. Jed   
looked over his shoulder once more to see the trail of footprints he   
was leaving behind: a path marking the transition from his old life   
left behind to his new one that lies just ahead.

Part 9

Time: December 1966  
  
Jed headed back downtown toward the bus station. He couldn't   
stay here; he had to get out of New Hampshire and as far away from   
his father as he could. Jed thought that he'd feel a sense of   
satisfaction at the thought of finally dealing with his father. Yet,   
those thoughts were overridden with feelings of guilt and sadness—  
mostly because of his mother's look when he left.   
It took a while, but Jed made it to his destination.   
Brushing the snow off of him, he went inside and set his bags down on   
the floor. There were only a few people at the station, loaded down   
with gifts for the holiday.   
Jed scanned the room quickly and found a pay phone. He   
grabbed his bags and went over to the phone and picked it up. He   
dialed the operator.  
"Operator, I need to make a collect call. Can you please   
connect me to the following number..."  
  
Meanwhile, Abbey was helping to decorate the family Christmas   
tree. Since her arrival home, Abbey noticed that her fatigue and   
upset stomach had subsided slightly. She chalked it up to being home   
and able to relax a little. She still hadn't started her period,   
though, and there was no escaping that. Abbey thought of talking to   
her mother, but for the first time in her young life, Abbey was   
scared: scared of what her mother would say, and even more so, what   
her mother would think of her.  
Abbey had told her folks about Jed, however; and they seemed   
pleased that Abbey had finally found someone who seemed to be kind   
and worthy of their daughter. "We can't wait to meet this young   
man," they told her. Abbey smiled at the thought.  
The phone rang, breaking through the sounds of carols   
throughout the house.  
"I'll get it!" hollered Abbey and ran over to the   
phone. "Hello and Merry Christmas," she answered into the phone.  
"There is a collect call for Abbey from Jed, will you accept   
it?" the operator asked.  
"Of course!" replied Abbey quickly. "Jed? Are you there?"  
"Yeah, hi Abbey," he replied.  
"I can barely hear you, where are you?" Abbey asked.  
"Bus station in Manchester," Jed said dully.  
"Bus station?" Abbey repeated. "Why?"  
"I had to leave, Abbey. I couldn't stay there."  
"You were only there for a few hours at the most. What   
happened?"  
Jed sighed, "My dad and I had a fight."  
"That's nothing new," Abbey interjected.  
"I punched him out," Jed continued.  
Abbey almost dropped the phone.  
"You still there, Abbey?" Jed called into the phone.  
"Yeah," Abbey said in a hoarse voice. "Why Jed?"  
"He said some things...hateful things...I couldn't let him   
talk that way about..." he trailed off, not wanting to continue.  
"About what, Jed?"  
"Never mind," he quickly answered.  
Abbey caught her breath. Oh, God. Her...it was about her...  
"It was me, Jed, wasn't it?" Abbey asked gently.  
Jed cleared his throat. "I don't want to discuss it, ok? I   
just wanted to let you know I wasn't at home anymore."  
"Where are you going to go?" Abbey questioned.   
"I don't know," Jed sighed. "I'll find someplace to stay   
until I meet you in Boston after Christmas."  
There was silence on both ends of the phone. Abbey looked   
over at her parents, who had been trimming the tree, but by now had   
stopped to listen.  
"Who's on the phone, dear?" Abbey's mother asked.  
"Jed," she said, covering the mouthpiece of the phone.  
"What's wrong?" her father asked, noting the distressed look   
on is "little girl's" face.   
"He's in trouble," Abbey said, her voice breaking slightly.  
"Abbey, you still there?" Jed asked again.  
"Yes, Jed, I'm here," she assured him.  
"I should get going, this is costing you a fortune," Jed told   
her.  
Abbey's father walked over to the phone. "Let me have the   
phone, Abbey," he instructed.  
Abbey looked at her father with confusion. She gave the   
receiver to him.  
"Jed? This is Abbey's father."  
Jed cleared his throat, "Hello, sir," he said with the utmost   
tone of respect. "I just told Abbey that I had to go. I know this   
call is going to be expensive. And I'll pay you back, sir. I   
promise."  
"Where are you, son?"   
"At the Manchester, New Hampshire bus station, sir," Jed   
replied simply.  
"Do you have any money, Jed?"  
"A little, sir."  
"Do you have enough to get a one way ticket to Connecticut?"  
Jed checked his wallet. "I think so, sir."  
"Good," Abbey's father answered. "Buy a ticket to Hartford.   
We'll pick you up there. Get the next bus you can, ok?"  
Jed held the phone, but could not speak.  
"Jed? You there?"  
"Yes, sir. I'm here."  
"I suggest you go buy your ticket. I'd rather not have to   
pick you up at 4am, if at all possible."  
"Yes, sir," Jed replied. "Thank you, sir."  
"No problem, son. We'll see you in a few hours, ok? Good   
bye."  
"Goodbye, sir." Jed answered and hung up the phone. He   
grabbed his bags and ran to the ticket counter.  
"I'd like a one way ticket to Hartford, Connecticut, please,"   
Jed said with the first trace of enthusiasm he possessed in a while.  
"That'll be $20," the man at the ticket window told him.  
Jed pulled out his wallet and counted his money. In total,   
he had $22.74. Enough for the ticket…but just barely. This was all   
the money he had now…considering he wouldn't take a dime from his   
father, as if his father would offer any now.  
The clerk looked at Jed with a peculiar stare. "You the   
Bartlet boy?" the man asked.  
"Yes, sir," Jed said, his eyes lowering a little bit. "I'm   
Josiah Bartlet."  
"I thought so. Thought you were in school, boy."  
"I am, sir. Notre Dame. I'm in my third year, actually."  
"Ah, yes. That's right. Your ma talks about ya all the   
time. She's mighty proud of ya. Why aren't ya at home with your   
folks for the holidays?"  
Jed now stared at his feet. "I can't go home, sir. Not   
anymore."  
The ticket clerk studied Jed. Their town was a small one, at   
least compared to today's standard. Everyone knew everything about   
everyone here…the clerk knew about Jed's father and how he treated   
his sons…Of course, he had no idea of what had just happened at the   
Bartlet household, but young Josiah was not a boy anymore. He was a   
man, and men don't take the same kind of treatment that boys do…  
"I see. Whatcha gonna do now, then?" the man asked.  
"I don't know. I'm going to visit some friends and then get   
back to school. I have a roundtrip ticket, that I hope I can cash in   
down in Connecticut."  
"You won't have much money left after this bus ticket, you   
know.." the clerk told Jed.  
"I know, sir," Jed answered quietly, "but, I'll get by. I'll   
get a job or something. It's not a big deal."  
The ticket clerk nodded his head. "I'll get you your   
ticket. The bus leaves in 15 minutes."  
The clerk disappeared behind the window for a few moments.   
As Jed waited, he wondered what he would do now. Fortunately, he had   
an academic scholarship to take care of tuition, room and board.   
But, he would still need money for books, and other necessities. Jed   
sighed. "Well, I did work study in prep school, I can do it again,"   
Jed thought with a weak smile.  
The ticket clerk returned and gave Jed his ticket, along with   
a paper bag.  
"What's this?" Jed asked, perplexed.  
"Something to eat and drink. It's not a short trip to   
Connecticut, you know. Thought you could use something to help   
settle the stomach."  
Jed smiled for a moment, then turned serious. "But, I can   
only give you the $20 for the ticket, sir. I can't pay for the food."  
"Keep your $20, Josiah. Hold onto it for something more   
important. Just take the ticket and the bag, all right? Merry   
Christmas," the clerk told him sternly, but with a smile on his face.  
"I'll pay you back, sir. I promise, I will," Jed said,   
offering his hand to shake the kind man's behind the window.  
"Just make something of yourself, boy. That will be pay back   
enough. Now, get going, you're gonna miss your bus."  
Jed took his belongings and made it to the bus on time. He   
climbed onto the warm bus and smiled broadly. In a world that was so   
laced with confusion, anger and division, it was good to know that   
basic decency and kindness still existed out there.  
Jed closed his eyes for a moment, his body tired from the   
day's events. "Maybe I can sleep for a few hours on the bus," he   
thought to himself. "I'll be in Connecticut in a few hours, I'll   
have time to get some rest before I get there. Then, I'll see   
Abbey." Thinking of her caused him to smile softly and he started to   
drift to sleep.  
Then, Jed's eyes flew open suddenly. He was going to   
Connecticut to see Abbey, yes. But, then, reality dawned on him.   
Her parents would be there, waiting for him!   
This was not how Jed imagined making his first impression   
with Abbey's parents.  
"Oh, great," Jed moaned, leaning his head against the bus   
window as it pulled away from the station.

Part 10

Time: December 1966  
  
What was supposed to be a restful bus trip turned out being a   
source of nerves and stress for Jed. Jed knew that first impressions   
were crucial, especially considering the fact that he was about the   
meet the parents of the woman he loved. How would he explain his   
situation to them? How could they trust him with their daughter?   
Jed pressed his face against the cold, smooth glass of the   
bus window and watched the scenery go by. His heart was heavy.   
Everything was screwed up. He thought of Leo and wished that he were   
here to talk to. Jed missed his best friend and his uncanny ability   
to kick Jed's butt back into gear. Leo would give it to him straight   
and tell him, "Get over it." Jed smiled at the thought.  
Although Jed was tired, sleep did not come to him. His mind   
was filled with fast moving images of what was to come over the next   
few hours and days. Besides, he could sleep anytime.  
In what seemed like no time at all, the bus pulled into the   
station and rolled to a stop. The snow was still falling and by now   
had collected to a few inches on the ground. "A white Christmas,"   
Jed said to himself as he collected his belongings and made his way   
off the bus.  
The wind blew stiffly through Jed as he walked into the bus   
terminal. The bright lights, in contrast to the darkness of the bus   
and the night sky, made it difficult for him to see at first. He   
squinted in order to get his bearings in the room.  
Out of seemingly nowhere, a voice behind him softly called   
into his ear, "Hello, Notre Dame."  
Jed jumped, dropping his bags, and turned in the direction of   
the voice.   
"Abbey," he replied softly and with relief in his voice. He   
pulled her into his arms and kissed her quickly. "I've missed you."  
"And I've missed you, Jed," she said, snuggling closer to   
him. She looked up at him and smiled. "All I get is a quick peck on   
the cheek?"  
Jed returned her smile. "Come here," he told her, pulling   
her into a kiss befitting a reunion.  
"Abbey, I certainly hope that this is the young man you've   
been telling us so much about," a man's voice said gruffly.  
The young couple broke apart abruptly and faced the man.  
"Daddy!" Abbey yelped and then quickly regained her   
composure. "Yes, Daddy, this is Josiah Bartlet."  
"Nice to meet you, son," her father said, trying to contain a   
grin, offering his hand for Jed to shake.  
"Pleasure is mine, sir," Jed said weakly, giving him his hand   
and firmly shaking. He looked quickly back and forth between Abbey   
and her parents. "I'm sorry for…I meant no disrespect…" Jed   
stammered with embarrassment.  
"Oh, don't pay any attention to him, Josiah," Abbey's mother   
assured Jed. "He likes to come across as a bear…when really he's   
more of a teddy bear," she continued, elbowing her husband lightly in   
the ribs.  
"Ow! Knock that off!" her husband countered.  
"Dad! Mom!" Abbey implored.  
"We also like humiliating our daughter in public," Abbey's   
father said, rolling his eyes.  
Jed chuckled at the exchange.  
"Please, Jed, don't encourage my parents. They're strange   
enough already. They don't need any assistance."  
"Why don't we head home?" Abbey's mother asked. "It's   
getting late and I'm sure Josiah is tired."  
The ride to Abbey's house was quick. Jed and Abbey sat in   
the back seat of the car and Jed did his best to keep a healthy   
distance from his girlfriend. After about a month of separation, he   
wasn't sure how much he trusted himself to keep his hands off. As he   
sat in silence, he felt Abbey's hand slide into his. He turned to   
her to see her looking straight ahead, as if nothing was going on.   
Jed didn't move at all, but smiled at her ability to remain calm and   
assuring all at the same time.  
Upon arriving at the house, Abbey's parents showed Jed his   
room on the first floor.  
"I hope you find this comfortable, Josiah," Abbey's mother   
said cheerfully.  
"Your house is beautiful, ma'am. Thank you so much for your   
hospitality," Jed answered sincerely, setting his bags down on the   
bed. Abbey was right behind them and sat down on the bed next to   
Jed's bag.   
"Well, it's no problem, Josiah. We're just glad you're   
here," her mother added.  
"Please, ma'am. Call me Jed. Josiah is a nice name, but   
it's sounds so stuffy sometimes…"  
Abbey's mother smiled at Jed.  
"Everything ok? You comfortable?" Abbey's dad asked as he   
entered the room.  
"Yes, sir. Thank you." Jed replied, sitting down on the bed   
next to Abbey, who once again, slid her hand into his.  
Abbey's father smirked. "Now, don't you get too comfortable   
in here, Miss," he said. "You're room is still upstairs, and that's   
where I expect to find you in the morning."  
"DADDY!" Abbey yelled.  
"I know, I know…but, I remember what it was like to be young   
and in love," he continued, sliding his arm around his wife's   
waist. "It wasn't that long ago for us, you know."  
Abbey grimaced at the thought of her parents being like her   
and Jed. "Dad, you're really creeping me out here, ok?"  
Jed laughed out loud, at which Abbey smacked his arm lightly.  
"I told you…don't encourage them!" Abbey whined.  
Jed stopped laughing and yawned.  
"Come on, Abigail. Jed must be exhausted. Let's let him get   
some rest. You two can catch up in the morning," her mother   
suggested.  
"Ok. I'll be out in a few minutes," she told her parents.  
"Five minutes," her father told her, escorting his wife out   
of the room and shutting the door.  
"Ok, ok.." Abbey said.  
"I like your parents, Abbey," Jed said.  
"They're parents. They'll wear on you after a while. But,   
yeah, they're cool," she replies.  
The two of them sat on the bed in silence.  
"I really missed you, Abbey."   
"Me too."  
She leaned in and kissed him fully on the lips. She missed   
feeling him next to her. He missed the security he felt when he was   
with her. Together, they were whole…  
"Abbey, I don't think this is a good idea," Jed said warily,   
trying to back away slightly, but not offend her.  
"You don't like my kisses any more, Notre Dame?"   
"Trust me, that's not the problem," he assured her. "I like   
them too much."  
"Well, that's reassuring," Abbey countered, gently pulling   
him to her again.  
Jed closed his eyes and allowed Abbey's lips to take his once   
more. What's one more kiss, he thought to himself. Resisting her   
was almost impossible anyway.  
"Abigail?" her father's voice came from the other side of the   
door. "Let Jed get some sleep. You'll see him in the morning."  
"Ok, Dad. I'm coming," she groaned. "I gotta go. I'll see   
you in the morning."  
"All right," he said. "I love you, Abbey."  
"And I love you, Notre Dame. Good night."  
With that, she opened the door and was gone.  
Jed threw himself back onto the bed fully. He decided that   
it was probably a good idea that she left when she did. If things   
had progressed much further, it would have been almost impossible to   
let her go; and that would not be a great way to impress her parents.  
He laughed out loud at his predicament. I guess things could   
be worse, he considered.  
Suddenly, Jed felt a wave of exhaustion wash over him. He   
could barely move.   
"I'll only close my eyes for a minute and then get settled,"   
he said out loud with a yawn. He shut his eyes.  
When he opened his eyes later, he noticed that his bag was on   
the floor and the sun was shining in through the bedroom window.   
"What the…" Jed grumbled, sitting up in bed and rubbing his   
eyes.  
There was a knock on the door. "Jed, you up?" Abbey called.  
"Yeah," Jed answered sleepily.  
Abbey poked her head into the room. "Are you decent?" she   
whispered.  
Jed looked down. He was still wearing the same clothes from   
the night before. "Yeah," he states.  
Abbey opens the door. "Damn, I was hoping you weren't," she   
replied in a slightly louder voice.  
"Cute, real cute," Jed answered, climbing out of the bed.  
"Change into something warm. I want to go for a walk in the   
snow before breakfast," Abbey informed him.  
"O.k., give me five minutes to change."  
"All right," she said and left Jed to get ready.  
Jed rifled through his bag, grabbed a sweater and a pair of   
jeans and quickly changed. He opened his door and walked out into   
the house.  
"Good morning, Jed," Abbey's mother said.   
"Good morning, ma'am," Jed returned.  
"I hope you don't mind that I moved your bag and turned out   
the light. It's just that when we were heading upstairs, we noticed   
your light on. I went in to check on you and you were fast asleep. I   
couldn't bare to wake you."  
Jed blushed a little, "No, that's fine, thank you for doing   
that for me. I guess I was a little more tired than I thought."  
"You had a long day yesterday. Totally understandable,"   
Abbey's mother said gently.  
"You ready to go?" Abbey asked, already in her hat and coat.  
"Yes," Jed answered.  
"We won't be long, Mom," Abbey called out, taking Jed by the   
hand and leading him out the door.  
Abbey and Jed walked along the streets of Abbey's   
neighborhood. After a few minutes, Abbey led him to a wooded area   
off the beaten path of the sidewalks and intersections of the town.   
"Where are we going?" Jed inquired.  
"Shh. You'll see when we get there."  
More minutes passed as they walked in silence. The only   
sounds to be heard were the snow crunching under their boots and   
their breathing. At last, they reached a small clearing with a large   
rock sitting among a grove of trees. They climbed the rock, helping   
each other along the way. Abbey cleared off a place for them to sit.  
"This is my favorite spot. No one knows that it's here…Well,   
no one knows that I come here, at least."  
Jed looked around. The peace and beauty of the place were   
simplistic and awe-inspiring. It reminded him of home.  
"I come here when I need to think," Abbey said quietly.  
"It's wonderful, Abbey." Jed answered, not wanting to spoil   
the moment.  
A silence fell over them again for a while.   
"Jed?"  
"Yes?"  
"You wanna talk about what happened at home?" Abbey asked,   
taking his hand in hers.  
Jed shuddered. Not from the cold, but from the memory of   
that place. He didn't come here to dump his problems on her.  
"I'd rather not," Jed replied, honestly.  
Abbey nodded her head. She had a feeling he wouldn't want to   
discuss it. She wouldn't push the issue…at least, not right now.   
"O.k," she answered simply, removing her hand from his.   
Jed took in a deep breath. He didn't mean to shut her out.   
He simply wasn't ready to face that…to share that just yet. He   
exhaled slowly, feeling the cold air rush out of his lungs.  
"I'm glad you brought me here, Abbey. I feel special knowing   
that you wanted to share this place with me."  
Abbey sat quietly for a minute. She looked away, through the   
bare branches of the dormant trees. "There's another reason why I   
brought you here, Jed," she said.  
Jed looked over at her. "You're not thinking of killing me   
and dumping my body out here, are you?" he teased.  
But, she wasn't laughing.  
"Abbey? What is it?"  
"Remember when I told you on the phone last night that I had   
to talk to you?"  
Jed thought for a second. Last night was sort of a blur, but   
he did recall that while he was still at home, Abbey indicated that   
she needed to have a conversation with him.  
"Yes, I remember," Jed answered. "You implied that it was   
serious."  
Abbey nodded in assent.  
"You said that we were ok, though…right?" Jed asked with a   
note of uncertainty in his voice.  
"I hope we are, Jed. I need for us to be," she said in a   
broken voice, still facing away from him.  
"Abbey, look at me," he said, turning her face back to   
him. "Tell me."  
She looked at him intently. She knew that this would be a   
defining moment in their relationship…and she was scared to death.  
"Jed, I'm pregnant."

Part 11

"Jed, I'm pregnant."  
The words hung in the air between them. Jed didn't flinch—  
didn't move. His hand still held her face as he sat there and let   
her revelation penetrate his being.  
"Jed?" Abbey said to him.  
"Yeah?" he replied absently.  
"Did you hear me?"  
"Yeah," he repeated.  
Abbey sat across from him, unsure of what to do or say next.   
No matter how many times she played this over in her head, she should   
have known that none of the scenarios that played out in her mind   
would be like the real thing.  
"You're going to have a baby?" he asked slowly and   
deliberately, dropping his hand from her chin.  
"Yes."  
Jed took in a slow breath and let it out, watching the vapor   
from his exhaling puff out around him.  
"Wow," he said, a smile slowly creeping across his face.  
He's smiling? Abbey thought to herself. Not possible.  
"I guess that's why you've been feeling so crappy, huh?"  
"I guess so," she replied quietly.  
"How are you now, though," he asked, with true concern in his   
voice.  
"I feel a little better," Abbey answered with a sigh. "I'm   
still really tired and my stomach's really acting up a lot. But,   
other than that, I'm fine."  
Jed nodded his head, but didn't say a word for a moment.  
"You're going to have a baby?" he asked again in amazement.  
Abbey gave him a look that was a cross between amusement and   
annoyance. "I think we've established that fact already. I thought   
you were supposed to the smart one, Notre Dame."  
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Jed questioned.  
"I wanted to make sure and I wanted to tell you in person.   
Not over the phone or in some letter." Abbey hesitated. "Plus, I   
was afraid."  
"Afraid of what?"  
"Afraid of what?" she marveled. "Afraid of having a baby,   
afraid of what you'd think, afraid of how things would change…"  
"Between us?" Jed interrupted.  
"Of course!"  
Jed took Abbey's hand firmly in his. "This changes nothing,   
Abigail. It may move things ahead of schedule, but it changes   
nothing."  
Abbey looked at Jed with doubt in her eyes. "What do you   
mean?"  
"Oh, come on, Abbey. I planned on asking you to marry me as   
soon as I graduated from college. I knew we would have to wait a   
while, but it didn't matter. But, everything happens for a reason,   
Abbey. I remember in Cape Cod, when I met you and I wondered what   
the hell I was doing with my life. We met for a reason. This is the   
reason, Abbey."  
Abbey looked away. "You make it sound so simple."  
"It's not going to be simple, Abbey. It's going to be   
difficult. But, together, we can do it."  
Abbey made no reply.  
"Marry me, Abigail. I know that I'm an arrogant pain in the   
ass. But, you're the only one who can see through all of that and   
bring out the best in me. I'm probably not worthy of you, but I   
promise, I'll give you all that I have and try to make you happy. We   
can raise our children—and they'll be intelligent, talented and give   
us a run for our money."  
Abbey looked at Jed in disbelief.  
"Jed, we can't get married now. We're both in school. You   
need to go back to Indiana."  
"Why? I can get a job, get us settled and then go back," Jed   
told her.  
"Don't be a jackass," Abbey insisted. "You have one year to   
go, you can't leave now. I'm going to have to leave school for a   
while anyway, so if anyone is going to drop out, it's going to be me."  
"You are NOT leaving the pre-med program, Abigail. Being a   
doctor is in your blood. It's what you're born to do."  
"If it's in my blood, then I'll go back. But, Jed, I can't   
do pre-med and be a mother. At least not right away."  
Jed sat in silence, not wanting to argue, and really not sure   
of what to say next.  
"So, what now?" Abbey asked, dejected.  
"Well, if you're leaving school, then come back to Indiana   
with me. We'll get married and live out there. I can finish up my   
degree and work at the same time. I'll support you and our child. I   
just can't imagine me being in Indiana and you back here. I know it   
won't be easy, but I love you, and I'll make it work."  
Abbey stood up, brushing the snow from the rock off of her   
pants. Jed didn't move, waiting for her to say something.  
"Say you'll marry me, Abbey."  
Abbey looked through the trees, crossing her arms in front of   
her, as though trying to embrace and shelter herself from the crisp   
air. She glanced upward to the sky, filled with low-lying gray   
clouds.  
"Looks like snow again," she commented.  
Jed stood up now, but still made no sound.  
"Can we have an early spring wedding? I think that would be   
best," she asked, still looking outward.  
Jed came up behind her and embraced her. "We can have   
anything you want, whenever you want. Today, tomorrow, next month…  
just soon, Abbey, because I can't wait to share my life with you."  
She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled. "I think   
you've started that already, Notre Dame," she remarked, moving her   
hands down to his and moving them around to her belly. It was flat   
and unnoticeable now, but she knew that soon, it would be stirring   
with the life they had created.  
Jed rested his hands against her, sharing her thoughts. "I   
guess you're right," he said, smiling widely.  
"Of course I am," Abbey replied lightly. "I'm always right,   
and you're planning on being my husband, you better learn that   
quickly."  
Jed hugged her closely to him. "Abbey, I think I learned   
that fact that first night you walked up to me on the beach in Cape   
Cod."  
"I always knew you were a smart man, Notre Dame."  
"You thought I was a geek."  
"You are a geek, but I love you anyway."  
Jed laughed. "Why don't we get you home? It's cold.   
Besides, I'm starving."  
Abbey hesitated.  
"What is it?"  
"I haven't told my parents, yet." Abbey responded, her voice   
breaking a little.  
"Oh. Well….we'll tell them together."  
Abbey sniffled a little. "They'll hate me, Jed."  
"They couldn't hate you, Abbey. But, you need to give them a   
chance. We need to have faith. Come on. I'll be right there with   
you. Let's go home," he said, offering her his arm for support.  
Abbey accepted it with a weak smile and they made their way,   
following the footsteps that brought them to this place. Following   
them to her home, and an uncertain future..

Part 12

The young couple sat on the couch in the living room, across   
from Abbey's parents. Jed held Abbey's hand tightly, as she looked   
down with eyes red from the tears flowing down her face. Jed,   
meanwhile sat up as straight as he could, and never let his gaze move   
from theirs. The father and mother sat in silence, looking at the   
two of them, contemplating their response.  
Jed could stand the silence no more. "I know you must be   
upset, and I don't blame you," Jed started. "But, I assure you, I   
will take care of your daughter and our child. Don't blame Abbey for   
this. It's not her fault. I love her and I won't let anything   
happen to her."  
Abbey's father leaned back on the chair he was sitting in.   
He sighed loudly and folded his arms in front of him.  
"I'm not blaming anyone, Jed," he father said in a calm and   
quiet tone. "But, you have to admit, your behavior was pretty damned   
irresponsible. Both of you."  
"Yes, sir," Jed agreed quietly. "You'll get no argument from   
me there."  
Abbey's father looked over to his wife, who said nothing and   
gave no clue as to her feelings on the issue. He imagined she was   
quite upset, though.   
"You're awfully young to be married, don't you think?"   
Abbey's father inquired.  
"Yes, sir, we are young. But, I love your daughter and she   
shares those feelings. We want to do this right. We want our family   
intact from the start." Jed was determined to see this through.  
Abbey's father stood up slowly and started pacing nearby.   
Although he had only known Jed for a very short time, something told   
him that the young man before him was a man of his word, worthy of   
his trust…and most of all, worthy of his daughter. He turned back to   
Jed and offered his hand in a show of acceptance.  
"Well, son, welcome to the family. Take care of her. We'll   
do everything we can to support you."  
Jed rose quickly and shook the man's hand. "Thank you, sir.   
I won't disappoint you. I promise."  
"I know you won't, Jed," Abbey's father agreed and pulled him   
into a quick embrace. Abbey's mother then rose and offered her   
congratulations to Jed by giving him a hug and kiss.  
Abbey looked up, her eyes wide with the realization of what had just   
transpired. Her mom went over to her and sat beside her.  
"You don't hate me, then?" Abbey asked through her tears.  
"I could never hate you, Abigail. I love you. I worry about   
you. But, hate you? Not possible."  
"I've let you down," Abbey said.  
"You'll be fine," her mother assured her. "And you will be a   
doctor. I know it."  
Abbey hugged her mother and sighed with relief. She felt as   
though the weight of the world was removed from her.  
Jed sat back down next to Abbey and hugged her   
tightly. "It's going to be fine now, Abbey. You see, I told you…you   
just need to have faith."  
  
  
The two-week holiday passed quickly, between Christmas and   
New Years, and, of course, the beginnings of planning a wedding…the   
days flew by. Before anyone knew it, it was the day before Jed had   
to go home. He didn't want to leave, but Abbey was going back to   
school to finish out her year at school, and Jed had to return to   
secure a place for them to live and a job. The wedding was set for   
May, right after final exams. Jed knew that somehow, they would get   
by.  
On the way home from one of their now daily walks, Jed   
noticed that Abbey looked tired. She was not dealing well with the   
throes of early pregnancy. Jed worried about her, but whenever he   
asked her if she was well, she'd brush him off, telling him he was a   
worry wart. "Millions of women are pregnant every day and deal with   
it," she'd say defiantly, "and I'm tougher than they are." That may   
be, he thought, but he couldn't help worrying about her. After all,   
she was carrying his child and he couldn't help but be protective.  
"I'm going to miss you, Notre Dame," Abbey said, trying not   
to cry. The damn hormones weren't helping with that, though.  
Jed nodded. He didn't want to go there either…it hurt too   
much. "This time with you has been incredible, Abbey. It makes me   
want to marry you right now."  
Abbey chuckled. "Just remember you said that, Jed. Because   
I'm sure after 30 years or so with me, you might change your mind."  
"30 years!" Jed said with a laugh. "Can you imagine where   
we'll be in 30 years?"  
Abbey stopped mid step and thought about that. "I think…I   
think it'll be good in 30 years. We'll be in a good place…"  
"I'm sure you're right. But, right now, I just want to focus   
on today and my time with you," Jed said, putting his arm through   
hers.  
As they approached the house, Abbey felt a twinge in her   
lower abdomen. She caught her breath only slightly. When would she   
get used to this?   
"You ok?" Jed asked, noting her expression.  
"Yeah, sure," Abbey told him.  
"We walked too far today, didn't we?" Jed asked suspiciously.  
"God, Jed. If it were up to you, you'd carry me everywhere.   
I'm pregnant, not an invalid," she said in an annoyed voice.  
"Ok, ok. I hear you," he countered.  
They continued up toward the stone-layered path leading to   
Abbey's house. Just then, Jed heard Abbey moan and watched her as   
she doubled over.  
"Abbey?" Jed leaned over, still holding her.  
She made no response, except for a groan and a cry. She fell   
over onto the snow, holding her stomach.  
"ABBEY!" Jed screamed. His voice carried over the yard and   
into the house, where her parents were stopped in their tracks and   
ran for the door.  
"Call the doctor!" Abbey's father yelled as he ran out the   
door….  
  
Jed moved frantically around the waiting room. It had been   
over an hour since Abbey was brought into the ER and no one was   
talking to anyone. Jed had tried getting answers, but each time, he   
was denied. Even her parents were left in the dark. They would look   
to each other for a moment, then look away, none of them wanting to   
see the fear and frustration in the others' eyes.  
A man in a white coat rounded the corner and entered the   
room. Jed turned on his heel at the sound of the hard-soled shoes   
against the floor.  
Abbey's father rose to greet him. "Doctor?" was all he could   
get out.  
"Is she all right?" Jed asked.  
"We don't know, yet. We've brought her up to ICU."  
"ICU?!" her mother exclaimed. Her husband took her hand.  
"I'm afraid so. She's lost a lot of blood, ma'am," the   
doctor told her.  
Jed walked up to the doctor. "Did she have a miscarriage?"   
he asked weakly.  
"And you are?" the doctor asked.  
"I'm the baby's father," Jed said with an edge.  
"No. It was an ectopic pregnancy," the doctor said.  
"I don't understand," Jed replied.  
"A pretty rare condition, really. It's where the fertilized   
egg develops outside of the uterus."  
"So, that means…" Jed said, his voice showing a glimpse of   
realization.  
"I'm sorry, there won't be any baby."  
Jed breathed deeply.  
"We had to operate immediately. When a tubal pregnancy   
ruptures, it causes severe blood loss, shock…we had to remove the   
tube where the egg implanted."  
"What does that mean?" Jed asked, not letting his emotion   
show through.  
"It means that Abbey has one tube left…so there is a chance   
that should could conceive again. But, I'm not giving you any   
guarantees."  
"So, why is she in the ICU?" Abbey's father questioned.  
"It's like I said to your wife, sir. Abbey lost a great deal   
of blood. These things turn bad very quickly. Your daughter is   
lucky. Most women who have a tube rupture die."  
Abbey's mother gasped and Jed tightened his jaw and his hands.  
"She's not out of the woods, though. With the amount of   
blood she's lost, we're not sure if her body can handle the shock.   
That's why she's in ICU."  
"Can we see her?" Jed said.  
"Just for a moment. Come on I show you to her room. A word   
of caution, though. She's unconscious. We're not sure if it's a coma   
or just a reaction to the blood loss."  
They were brought to Abbey's room, where the three of them   
were allowed inside.  
Jed couldn't believe his eyes. She was almost gray in color,   
with all sorts of tubes and devices hooked up to her. He walked up   
to the side of the bed, touched her face, and fell to his knees..

Part 13

As day turned to evening and the shadows on the wall made   
their daily journey across the room, Jed did not move. He remained   
by her side, holding Abbey's hand, not sure that she even knew he was   
there. But, it didn't matter to him. He wouldn't move, not until   
Abbey opened her eyes and he could assure her that he would take care   
of her, no matter what.  
He wasn't certain of what day it was, what time it was…it all   
seemed trivial now. His life was contained in this room and if   
everything on the outside would cease, he wouldn't notice or care.  
"Jed?" Abbey's mother whispered.  
He did not respond, but continued to keep an eye on Abbey.  
"Jed, you really need to get some rest. You've been by her   
side for days now."  
"No," Jed answered simply and firmly.  
"Son," Abbey's father began, walking over to his future son-  
in-law, "you really should listen.."  
"I am not leaving her," Jed said emphatically.  
"We're not asking you to, son. We just don't want you sick,   
too. What good are you going to be to her if you are sick? You want   
to take care of her? Then, you've got to take care of yourself.   
We'll stay here with her. But, please, Jed, find someplace in a   
waiting room…anywhere, and just rest for a while."  
Jed looked up at the man who had quickly become like his own   
father. Hell, he wasn't like his father, and that was the point. He   
had become so much more to Jed than that.   
"All right," Jed agreed with a sigh. "But just for a   
while." He stood up and started for the door, but stopped and turned   
back to look at Abbey once more.  
"It's ok, Jed. She'll be fine. Now, go," her father   
instructed.  
Jed opened the door and walked down the hall. His eyes were   
weary and his body ached all over, something he hadn't noticed until   
now.  
"Mr. Bartlet?" a young nurse called, approaching him from   
behind the nurses' station.  
He turned to acknowledge her.  
"There's a room where you can go rest, sir. Let me show   
you," she offered.  
She led him to a room with a few couches, chairs and cots.  
"Rest here," she said gently, and then left him alone.  
Jed rubbed his eyes and dropped onto one of the couches.   
After only a few moments, he finally allowed his body to surrender to   
sleep…  
  
  
"Jed?"  
Jed stirred only slightly.   
"Jed? Wake up, son."  
I must be dreaming, he managed to think to himself, even though he   
was still relatively unconscious.  
"Jed. Come on. Wake up," the voice repeated.  
Jed blinked open his eyes. "Sir," Jed started, and then sat up.   
"Son, she's awake," Abbey's father said with a faint smile.  
"Awake?" Jed said, suddenly coherent and alert.  
"Yes, Jed."  
"What time is it?" Jed asked, quickly rising off of the couch and   
heading for the door.  
"5:15 in the evening…Tuesday.."  
Jed stopped in tracks…  
"Tuesday?"  
"Yes, Jed."  
Jed thought about this for a moment. "But, I just came in here a   
little while ago…"  
"You came in here almost 20 hours ago, son," Abbey's father said   
quietly.  
"20 hours? That's not possible."  
"You've been sleeping, out cold really, that long. She's been up for   
a few hours."  
"Why didn't you come get me, then?" Jed asked defensively.  
"The doctors have been doing tests for a while, Jed. We couldn't   
even be there, so we thought you should rest until they said she was   
ready for visitors."  
"Is she…is she going to be ok?" Jed questioned.  
"The doctors seem to think so, but she's pretty upset, Jed."  
Jed nodded silently. "Can I see her now?"  
"That's why I'm here. Let's go. They've moved her out of ICU and   
into a regular room."  
Jed followed Abbey's father, practically right on his heels until   
they reached the room. Abbey's father opened the door and went in,   
and Jed was right behind him.  
"Abbey, there's someone here who wants to see you."  
Jed walked slowly into the room and saw Abbey, who despite not being   
on all the machines and tubes anymore, still looked fragile. She was   
looking away from him, with an empty stare out the room window.  
Jed positioned himself next to her, sitting in the chair that he had   
occupied for those countless hours and days. "Abbey," he said   
softly, taking her hand in his. Usually, when he did this, she would   
wrap her fingers through his tightly, giving him a warm and sure   
indication of acceptance. Now, however, her hand lay limp in his,   
with an indication of nothing whatsoever.  
Jed looked down at their hands and then at her. She was still   
staring out the window.  
"Abbey?" Jed repeated.  
"There's not going to be any baby," she said her voice empty.  
"I know. It's all right," he said, squeezing her hand. Still,   
nothing in return from her.  
"You're probably right," she continued absently, not looking at   
him. "It's all right. It's probably best. We weren't ready to have   
children. Hell, Jed…we're practically kids ourselves."  
Jed felt awkward from this response.  
"You know…in a way, I'm relieved," she said with a hollow   
laugh. "After all, I would be a terrible mother. And you certainly   
aren't ready to be a father."  
"Abbey…" Jed began with trepidation.  
"So, you're off the hook, Notre Dame. You can go back to school and   
become that prize winning economist or teacher or whatever the hell   
it is you want to be."   
Jed turned and looked at Abbey's parents, who were standing in the   
far corner of the room, frozen in their spots.  
Abbey's gaze was fixed on the window. She barely blinked.   
"Abigail," Jed said tenderly. "We'll get through this. We still   
have so much to look forward to…we still have a wedding to plan."  
Abbey's head swung around, at last, to face Jed.  
"Wedding?" she countered with a chuckled. "I'm not getting married,   
Jed."  
"What? I don't understand," Jed stammered.  
"Don't you see? You're off the hook. There's no baby, so there   
doesn't have to be a marriage. I don't know about you, but I'm   
certainly relieved."  
"What are you talking about, Abbey? I'm still going to marry you. I   
love you…"  
Abbey's eyes looked right through Jed. He couldn't believe what he   
was hearing and seeing. There was nothing behind those eyes all of a   
sudden. They were cold and empty.  
"I loved you, too, Josiah. And, I was a fool. I told you a long   
time ago that love wasn't for me—it only led me to heartache. And,   
once again, I was proven correct. So, from now on, I'm going to   
stick with what I know…Love is dead to me."  
"Love is dead?" Jed asked slowly and incredulously. "Love never   
dies, Abbey."  
She did not respond, did not move.  
"Don't do this, Abbey. Give it some time. I'll be right here. We   
can get through this tragedy together."  
"You really aren't that smart, are you. Didn't you hear me? I don't   
want you here. I want to be left alone. Go back to Notre Dame,   
Josiah," she said coolly and turned away from him once again.  
Jed slowly stood up. He felt as though his legs were made of lead.   
He had to pull himself up by supporting himself on the side of her   
bed. He methodically took a few steps toward the door, past Abbey's   
parents, who were still unable to speak or move, and hesitated.  
"Love never dies, Abbey. Love may sleep, but it never dies," he said   
calmly and walked out the door.  
He kept walking, not seeing or hearing anything along the way.   
Everything was blurred and out of focus. Somehow, Jed made it to one   
of the hospital exits. The bitter wind did not bring him out of the   
fog that had descended over him. He stood absolutely still in the   
elements despite their harshness. He tried to focus on something…  
anything to bring him back to where he belonged. Finally, he saw a   
bench in a barren courtyard nearby. He trudged over there, his feet   
seeming to just drag along. Jed rested his hand upon the back of the   
bench for support and then proceeded to bend over and wretch into the   
untouched blanket of snow.

Part 14

Time: January 1967  
Dedicated to my two angels…..who watch over me every day…  
  
As soon as Jed left the room, Abbey's parents turned to face   
their daughter.  
"Abigail," her father began.  
"Don't start with me," she interrupted in an even tone.  
"You may think you can get away with speaking to Jed like   
that, young lady, but I think you'd better remember who you are   
speaking to now!" he replied, his voice rising, indicating his   
growing anger.  
His wife looked at him, not used to seeing her husband upset   
like this.  
"I have never in my life seen anything as hurtful as what you   
just did," her father accused.  
Abbey turned away again and looked at the window.  
"Look at me when I am talking to you!"  
Abbey moved her eyes, but did not fully turn her head.  
"I don't understand this, Abbey. I know you are hurt, but   
that is no excuse for what you did."  
"Stay out of it, Daddy," Abbey returned bitterly.  
Her parents looked at each other, realizing that at this   
point, there is no talking to their daughter.  
"I hope you realize the consequences of what you have just   
done," her father finished. He looked to his wife, "You stay with   
her, if you want, I'm going to go see if I can find Jed."  
"I don't want him back here!" Abbey yelled.  
Her father turned quickly back to face his daughter. "I   
wouldn't think that Jed would want to return. Unfortunately, though,   
I think I know better. I would strongly discourage him, though,   
Abigail because right now, you certainly don't deserve what he has to   
offer you."  
With that said, her father left the room. As he made his way   
through the hospital, he stopped one of nurses.  
"Excuse me, miss. Have you seen a young man come through   
here, most likely looking rather upset.'  
"If you mean Mr. Bartlet, he did come by here a while ago,   
sir," she answered, her face showing concern.  
"Do you have any idea where he may have gone off to?"   
"No, sir, he didn't look like he was doing very well,   
though. Maybe he went outside to take a walk."  
"Thank you," he replied and quickly made his way to the   
hospital exit.  
The blast of wind upon exiting through the doors caught the   
man off guard. He looked around to see if he could see the young   
man. Abbey's father walked a little further and noticed someone   
huddled by a bench in the distance. He ran over, only to find Jed   
kneeling in the snow and obviously ill.  
"Jed," he said, going to him and kneeling behind him.  
The young man continued to heave into the brutal wind, but   
nothing was left to expel, except the intermittent sobs between the   
involuntary bodily reaction.  
"Jed. Please, come inside where it's warm. Let me talk to   
you."  
"No," Jed sputtered. "Just leave me alone."  
"Josiah Bartlet, listen to me, you need to get inside.   
You'll catch pneumonia out here. I just got an earful from my   
daughter, so I'm not in the mood to hear any of it from you."  
Jed looked up at the man who had so quickly won his   
admiration and utmost respect. He was ashamed for the way he spoke   
to this man. "I'm sorry, sir," he said, his voice still breaking   
from the sobs. "I just…I don't understand…I…"  
"I know, son," Abbey's father interjected. He took Jed's arm   
and helped him up. "Come on, Jed. Let's get you inside." He put   
his arm around Jed and supported him as they headed back inside.  
Abbey's father led Jed to a back corner of the hospital   
coffee shop. "Sit here, I'll be right back," he instructed.  
At this point, Jed didn't think he could go much of any place   
anyway. His body ached from the heaving before and his head was   
pounding. He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes, praying   
that when he opened them, he would discover that the nightmare was   
over.  
"Here, Jed."  
Jed raised his head and opened his eyes to see Abbey's father   
setting down a cup of coffee and half a sandwich. So, this wasn't a   
nightmare after all, Jed thought to himself.  
"I'm not hungry," Jed moaned.  
Abbey's father sat down with his own coffee and sandwich and   
merely glared at the young man now seated across from him. He didn't   
have to say a word to get his message across. Jed begrudgingly   
picked up the sandwich and took a bite.  
"Thank you," Abbey's father said softly.   
The two men ate and drank in silence for a while.  
"Jed. I can't even begin to try to apologize for what   
happened before with Abigail."  
"Please, don't," Jed answered, looking down at his plate.  
"She's hurting. Certainly not an excuse for her actions, but   
an explanation," Abbey's father proceeded. "She's grieving, but what   
she doesn't realize is: so are you."  
Jed didn't move.  
"Losing a child, no matter when, is devastating, Jed. It's   
ok to grieve and be sad. You lost your child."  
Jed felt the tears starting to run down his cheek again.   
"My wife and I have lost children, too," Abbey's father   
shared. "We lost two children to miscarriage, only my wife was a   
little farther along with those babies. It's a pain beyond   
description. I know we're supposed to be men and be tough about it.   
But, show me a man who doesn't grieve for his own children and I'll   
say to his face that he's not a man at all."  
Jed looked up at the man across from him and noted the pain   
on his face.  
"You're problems are compounded, though, son. My daughter   
deals with the hurt through anger. She's always been like that, I'm   
afraid, but this is, by far, the worst I've seen her. Of course, the   
situation is like nothing she's ever been through before. She's not   
going to be swayed by anyone now. She needs time to heal: more   
emotionally than physically. The same goes for you, son."  
Jed's expression showed confusion, "What do you mean, sir?"  
"I think you should take Abbey's advice and go back to   
school. You've already missed the first few days of the term. You   
can't stay around here when she's like this. You'll torture   
yourself, and I think you deserve better than that."  
"You think I should leave?" Jed exclaimed.  
"Yes, I do, Jed."  
Jed couldn't believe his ears. "How can I leave things like   
this? I love her! I can't leave her like this."  
Abbey's father sighed. "The bottom line is this: she doesn't   
want you here now and it's not going to help the healing process for   
either of you if there is tension. If you love her, let her deal   
with this…allow yourself to deal with this…then wait and see what   
happens. I pray that she sees what a mistake she's made, Jed, and   
that she'll come to lean on you. But, that can't be forced. It has   
to be genuine…it has to come from the soul…and not from the head."  
Jed shook his head in defiance.  
"Josiah, look. I've come to think of you as a son.   
Considering the fact that you plan to marry my daughter and conceived   
a child with her, most fathers would not be as understanding. But, I   
see you for who you are, Jed. You've got a great deal to offer, not   
just to my daughter, but to society as a whole. The way things are   
now: it will be all consuming. You can't allow that to happen. And,   
I won't allow that to happen to my son. Do you understand me?"  
The man's words stunned Jed. Never had he heard words like   
that from a man before.  
"One more thing, Jed. No matter what happens with my   
daughter, I will always think of you as my son. You can come to me   
any time, ok?"  
"Yes, sir," Jed managed to get out.  
"Would you do me a favor, though? Stop calling me sir. If I   
call you son, the least you can do is call me `dad'."  
"Yeah, that's the least I can do. Thank you, Dad."  
"You're welcome, son."  
"Do you think…do you think I can say goodbye, at least?"  
Abbey's father thought about this. "She was pretty vocal   
about not wanting to see you."  
Jed straightened up his body. "I don't care, sir. She can   
be stubborn and so can I. If I'm going to leave, I'm at least going   
to say goodbye."  
Abbey's father smiled. "All right, son. Let's go see what   
we can do."  
The two men headed back upstairs to Abbey's room.  
"Why don't I go in first?" Abbey's father suggested.  
"Good idea," Jed agreed.  
Abbey's father walked in to see his wife sitting next to his   
daughter. They both were quiet: his wife reading and his daughter   
simply sitting in her bed.  
"Excuse me, dear, I need to you for a few moments," Abbey's   
father said to his wife.  
His wife looked up, apparently confused. Her husband simply   
nodded at her and offered his hand. She stood up, took his hand and   
allowed herself to be escorted out of the room.  
The door shut behind them and the couple saw Jed pacing in   
the hallway.  
"Josiah," Abbey's mother said, opening her arms for an   
embrace.  
Jed went over and hugged her.   
"Go ahead," Abbey's father said.   
"What is he doing?" his wife asked.  
"Saying goodbye. Jed's going back to school."  
Abbey's mother's eyes widened in shock.   
"Go ahead, Jed," the man repeated.  
Jed shook his head and opened the door.  
Abbey's mother looked at her husband, searching for answers.   
"It will be fine," he assured her, pulling her into an   
embrace. "He's doing the right thing. I'll explain later."  
  
Jed entered the room quietly and saw Abbey in bed, her eyes   
closed. The sight of her almost caused him to break down again, but   
he maintained his composure.   
"Abbey," he called to her softly.  
Abbey's eyes flew open and she saw him standing at the foot   
of her bed. She couldn't believe he was back, after what had   
happened before. Most people would have stormed away and never come   
back. But, then again, Jed had never been like `most people'. She   
knew it was wrong, but seeing him just hurt too much. She couldn't   
deal with him now. There were no more tears or feelings left to   
share—she had done enough of that when the doctor talked to her   
privately earlier in the day. Abbey had nothing left to give him   
anymore.  
"What are you doing here?" she asked.  
"I came to see how you were," Jed replied. "And to say   
goodbye."  
Abbey studied Jed's face. "Goodbye?"  
"Yes. You've made it perfectly clear that you don't want me   
here now, and I want to respect that."  
She never thought he would leave.  
"You have to know that I don't want to go, Abbey. But,   
staying here won't make things better now. You need some time to…  
well…think…to heal."  
Abbey felt tears starting to well in her eyes. She's pushed   
him away, and in her heart, she thought maybe it was what was best   
for him.  
"You told me before that love is dead for you. I know that's   
not possible, because I know you, Abbey. Love will never die in   
you. It's like I said before…maybe love is only sleeping right now   
for you…and I plan to wait until it wakes up again. I love you,   
Abigail, no matter what. You know where I am. I'll be waiting for   
your word."  
Jed turned and walked out of the room.  
Abbey's parents were waiting right outside the door.   
"You ok, son?" her father asked.  
"Yes, I think so," Jed replied in a slightly broken voice.  
"You did the right thing. We'll keep you posted on how she's   
doing, all right?"  
"All right."  
Abbey's father took out an envelope. "Take this. You'll   
need it for the term."  
Jed looked into the envelope. Inside was a considerable   
amount of money. "I can't accept this."  
"You can and you will. We know you'll have expenses…and we   
know you won't be getting much help other than this…Please, take it."  
Jed folded the envelope and put it in his pocket. "Thank   
you," Jed said softly.  
"Come on, I'll drive you home to get your stuff and then take   
you to the train station," the man said enthusiastically.  
Jed nodded, hugged Abbey's mother and walked down the hall   
with the man who has suddenly become his "father."

Time: Late May 1967  
Dedicated to my two angels…..who watch over me every day…  
  
Five months…  
Never had five months seemed so long. But, that's what   
happens when each day brings a new sense of expectation and winds up   
being an excruciating disappointment. No letters, no phone calls…no   
contact whatsoever.   
Oh, there were the sporadic letters from her parents:   
inquiring about how he was holding up, telling him they missed him   
and cared for him. Mostly though, the letters contained information   
updating Jed on Abbey's condition, health and otherwise. She was   
back in school, excelling in her studies and even trying to carve out   
a normal semblance of a life once again. And, while Jed was happy   
that she seemed to be doing so well, he almost resented her for it,   
as well. Carving out a normal semblance of anything proved fruitless   
for him. But, each day, he woke up, managed to drag himself out of   
bed and face the long day ahead of him.  
The silence of Jed Bartlet's world was almost overwhelming.   
He essentially had no contact with the outside world, unless he was   
in class. Otherwise, he locked himself in his room or holed up in   
the university library, where no one could reach him. His focus now   
was solely his studies. He knew what he wanted to do: he was going   
to graduate school for Economics. Jed had his eye on a few schools   
already and preparing to apply for these schools was enough to keep   
his plate full.  
But, as the spring thaw overtook the chilled Notre Dame   
campus, the semester came to an end quickly. A sense of panic   
overcame Jed as he realized that the shelter of his classes would no   
longer be available, at least until the end of the summer term, when   
he was scheduled for a late summer class in advanced microeconomics.   
However, class didn't begin until late July, which left Jed wondering   
what he was going to do between now and then.  
He couldn't go home; that was certain. And, even if he   
could, he had no desire to. He couldn't go to Abbey's house. And,   
his dorm was closed for the summer term. There seemed to be few   
options available for him.  
Jed packed up his dorm room and put all the items he could   
into his beat up car. He slammed the car door shut and decided to   
take a walk downtown to see if he could find a place to sit and think   
about what to do next.  
Jed watched as his classmates gleefully pulled out of the   
campus gates, either by themselves or surrounded by friends and   
family, and headed toward home or vacation….a definite place. He   
stuffed his hands in his pockets and kept walking until he reached   
the center of downtown. He looked up at saw that he was standing in   
front of a bar.   
"I need a drink," Jed said aloud and walked inside.  
Hours later, Jed was sitting in the far corner of the bar,   
his head down on the table. He wasn't entirely sure what time it   
was, or how much he had even had to drink. There were numerous empty   
glasses in front of him, though, testifying to his activity of the   
day.   
As he sat there, Jed noticed that he felt…nothing. He was   
numb, and that was a marked improvement to what he had felt over   
recent months. In his overly sheltered existence, he had never known   
the sensation of drinking enough to push down the pain of life. Jed   
thought about that and chuckled to himself bitterly. He picked up   
the last glass that contained any alcohol in it and drank it down.   
Upon finding it empty, he sat upright, as best as he could and called   
out…  
"I want another!"  
And immediately his head fell back onto the table. It was   
too much effort to keep his head upright and resist the urge to throw   
up at the same time.  
As he settled back down to his position on the table, he   
heard footsteps approaching him. Jed didn't budge, mostly because he   
couldn't…  
"I think you've had enough, buddy," a voice said over him.  
Jed didn't lift his head or move. "Oh, shut the hell up!" he   
barked, his head still resting on the table. "Who the hell are you   
to tell me I've had enough" Mind your own damn business," he   
continued with a slight slur in his speech.  
"I think I have a right to tell you, you stubborn jackass…  
Jesus, now I know why you never drink."  
Jed recognized that voice and lifted his head slowly, so he   
wouldn't feel the room spin too quickly. Finally, he was able to   
raise his eyes to the person standing in front of him. He blinked a   
few times to try to get his focus.  
"You make a lousy, stinkin' drunk. You should stick to the   
books, man."  
Jed's eyes adjusted to his condition and he couldn't believe   
what…or who…stood in front of him.  
"Leo"" Jed croaked.  
"God, Jed. I leave you for 10 months and this is what you   
become" Remind me not to do that anymore."  
"Leo"" Jed repeated in disbelief.  
"Yeah, Jed. It's me."  
The two friends didn't move as they looked at each other.  
"This isn't the Jed Bartlet I know," Leo said sadly as he   
walked around the table and took a seat next to Jed. "I dragged my   
sorry military ass out here to see my best friend. Can you tell me   
where he is""  
"You're lookin' at him," Jed grumbled, sitting back a little   
bit.  
"No. I'm looking at a shell of what used to be Jed Bartlet.   
Jed, I missed you while I was Vietnam…but, looking at you like this,   
I miss you even more, and I'm sitting right next to you."  
Jed looked over at his best friend. He wanted to be pissed.   
He wanted to yell at this man sitting beside him with his high and   
mighty judgments.  
Instead, Jed allowed his friend to catch him as he broke down   
in sobs.  
  
  
  
  


Later, Leo was driving Jed's car, as Jed was slumped in the passenger   
side, his head sticking out the window.  
"I feel like crap," Jed moaned.  
"You look like crap, pal. Although I thought after three or   
four rounds of sticking your head in a trashcan, you'd feel better by   
now," Leo replied, trying to not laugh at his best friend.  
Jed looked over at his friend, "You think this is funny,   
don't you""  
"Would I laugh at you as you are hunched over there, feeling   
sick and miserable""  
"Of course you would," Jed replied in a bitter voice.  
"You bet your ass I would," Leo agreed.  
"Some friend you are."  
"Oh, shut up, Jed. This pity crap is really annoying me.   
You're not like this, Jed. You're a fighter. You don't give up this   
easily."  
"You have no idea what I've been through, Leo!" Jed yelled.  
"Yes, I do," Leo answered quietly.  
Jed pushed himself up on the seat a little more. "How do you   
know""  
"I know, Jed. I've been home for a few weeks and I've talked   
to people. I hear things. It's amazing what you hear when you ask   
the right people the right questions."  
"Who have you been talking to""  
"It doesn't matter. I know what happened when you went home   
at Christmas,"  
"You talked to my mom, didn't you," Jed questioned.  
"Yes."  
Jed felt a lump form in his throat. "How is she""  
"She's fine. She sends her love. She also wanted me to give   
you this," Leo pulled a letter out of his jacket.  
Jed took the letter and just held it tightly in his hand.  
"Jed, you did what you had to do…she understands that. She   
didn't like it, but she understands."  
Jed nodded silently.  
"As far as I'm concerned, the bastard had it coming. I'm   
just pissed that I wasn't there to see you flatten him."  
Jed smirked just a little. "I'm not proud of what I did,   
Leo."  
"Of course not," Leo answered, but mirrored Jed's expression.  
An awkward silence filled the car for a while.  
"I can't tell you how sorry I am about…what happened to you   
and Abbey."  
Jed's back tensed a little. "Relationships break up, Leo.   
Happens every day," Jed said, trying to maintain a casual tone to his   
voice.  
"Yeah," Leo replied and paused for a moment. "But, couples   
don't lose children every day," he continued, almost in a whisper.  
Jed blinked his eyes a few times and then turned to look out   
the car window.  
"How…how did you know about that"" Jed questioned.  
Leo made no reply.  
Jed turned to face his friend again. "Leo, have you   
seen….have you talked to Abbey""  
"No, Jed. Jenny heard about it through the grapevine. She   
ran into Abbey a while ago. They actually had a civil conversation.   
Can you imagine" Anyway, she had heard and then told me. Jenny   
tried to get your number at school by calling your home, but your   
father…"  
"Yeah," Jed interrupted.  
"That's quite a blow to take, my friend," Leo said.  
"Yeah," Jed repeated.  
"I can't imagine losing a child."  
"I hope you never find out, Leo. I hope you never find out."  
"Abbey's reaction…she was upset, I'm sure…you know how she   
is, Jed….she's stubborn and quick to react…like someone else I know   
well," Leo said, his eyes glancing over to his passenger.  
"It's been five months, Leo!"  
"Well, maybe she has you beat on the stubbornness front, this   
time. But, not for long…"  
Jed looked back at his friend with confusion in his   
eyes. "What do you mean""  
Again, Leo made no immediate response.  
Jed, becoming more alert now, looked around. "By the way,   
where are we going""  
"I'm driving you home," Leo said. "You certainly were in no   
condition to drive."  
Jed looked out the window and finally noticed that they were   
on the highway, heading east. "What are you doing" We passed campus   
miles ago…Besides, I can't live there over the summer."  
"You're quick, college boy."  
Jed looked over at Leo. "I'm not going to New Hampshire," he   
stated emphatically.  
"Hell, Jed. You think I'd take you there" I think your   
brain is still pickled from the booze."  
"Then, where are we going""  
"I'm taking you to my house."  
"Why""  
"Why" One, because I only had a one way train ticket and I   
needed a form of transportation back East. Two, because I can't see   
you living in this heap all summer and Three…." Leo stopped his list   
here.  
Jed waited for Leo to continue. "Three"" Jed asked,   
prompting Leo to continue.  
"Three, my dear friend, is so that you can get your ass in   
gear and win back that stubborn woman of yours…"  
Jed rolled his eyes. "Leo! How the hell am I going to do   
that when she doesn't want to see me, never mind talk to me""  
"You know, for a man who almost became a priest, you have so   
little faith sometimes, Jed Bartlet…."

Part 16

  
  
"Jed," Leo said, shaking Jed lightly.  
"Yeah"  
"We"re home."  
"Ah, great," Jed answered, stretching in the passenger seat of his own  
car.   
The two men got out of the car and stretched a little more. It was  
late morning, and both of them were hungry and tired.  
"Leo! Jed!"  
They both turned to see Jenny running out of the house. Leo opened his  
arms wide as Jenny approached him. Once she was in his arms, Leo  
encircled her tightly and pulled her into a deep kiss.  
Jed stood in the driveway, looking and feeling rather awkward.  
"You made good time," Jenny said, almost breathlessly.  
"I decided to drive straight through. I couldn't wait to get home.   
I've been traveling long enough."  
"I couldn't agree with you more," Jenny said. She looked over at Jed  
and smiled. "Jed! It's been too long."  
"You're looking wonderful, Jenny," Jed said quietly.  
Jenny's smile faded, but only slightly. "I'm glad you're here, Jed.   
Welcome to our home."  
"I'm glad to be here, Jenny. Thank you."  
"I thought that you guys would be hungry. I planned on making a big  
breakfast or lunch for you."  
"Sounds good to me!" Leo exclaimed. "I'm starving. Let's get inside."  
They all went inside. As Jenny prepared the meal, she and Leo engaged  
in exuberant conversation, as most newlywed husbands and wives do.   
True, they had been married over a year, but had been apart for 99% of  
that time. This was their honeymoon time it seemed. Jed sat quietly  
and observed them.   
Had things not gone the way they did, he and Abbey would be like this by now. A beautiful wedding, a brief trip for a honeymoon, setting up  
house, getting ready for a baby"  
Had things not gone the way they did…   
Jed ate in a distracted silence as he continued to watch his friends.   
He hated feeling this way, but the knot in his stomach did little to  
help cure the feeling inside. After a few more minutes, he stood up.  
"Listen, I'm still a little tired. I haven't really slept in days  
because of finals. Besides, the two of you should have some 'alone'  
time. I think I'm going to sack out for a while, if you don't mind."  
"Jed, please," Jenny said. "Why don't you come out with us for a while""  
"I'm really tired, Jenny. But, thank you. I'll see you in a while,"  
Jed said quietly and retired to his room.  
As Jed left, Leo stood up and put his hand on Jenny's shoulder. Jenny  
looked up at her husband, with obvious concern in her eyes.  
"Leo""  
"Just give him some time. He'll be ok."  
  
Days went by and Leo simply sat back and watched his friend wander  
almost aimlessly through time. He lacked focus or energy. There was  
nothing reflecting back from the Jed's eyes, where there had always  
been a complicated web of emotion behind them. Rarely had Leo seen  
his friend mask his feelings, because Jed was never good at having a  
'poker face'. He was simply too expressive to hide his emotions.   
Now, though, there was barely anything there to read. Leo had seen  
enough of this.  
Jed was outside, standing on the front porch of the house and staring  
off into the distance. Leo opened the door quietly and watched his  
friend for a few more moments. He shook his head, knowing that things  
were not going to get easier if he did this, but they were apt to get  
better.   
"Hey, Jed."  
Jed only moved his head to acknowledge his best friend's presence.   
"Hey, Leo," he answered, then directing his glance outward again.  
Leo walked out onto the porch and stood next to Jed.  
"Nice day," Leo remarked.  
"I suppose," Jed replied.  
Leo didn't look at his friend, but kept looking forward.  
"You know, Jed, there's a funny saying. You'll never get anywhere in  
life if you don't go anywhere.""  
Jed now turned to face his friend. "What the hell are you talking about""  
"You heard me. You'll never get anywhere in life if you don't go anywhere."  
Jed paused for a moment. "I've never heard that saying before."  
"Yeah, well, maybe I made it up. I don't know."  
"Not very creative," Jed commented.  
"Well, sorry 'Mr. Words are Everything', but you know what I'm talking  
about," Leo said sarcastically.  
Now, Jed said nothing.  
"Ah, well that shut you up, didn't it" You know, you always do that  
when I'm right and you're wrong."  
Jed turned to fully face his best friend and glared at Leo.  
"You think things are gonna get better if you become a hermit" Well,  
you don't make a very good martyr, Saint Josiah; so get over yourself  
and get back up on your feet."  
"Since when did you run my life"" Jed asked defensively.  
"Since you decided to shove your head up your ass, Jed!" Leo snapped back.  
"Go to hell, Leo! I don't need this from you!"  
"Yes, you do, Jed. I'm doing this because I care, because I love you  
like a brother and I know you better than anyone else in this whole  
damned world! Now, you have two choices, my friend. When it comes to  
Abbey, you can either shit or get off the damn pot!"  
Jed stood in angry amazement at this remark. "It's not that simple, Leo."  
"You love to overanalyze, Jed. It drives you and everyone else around  
you insane."  
"Just leave me alone."  
"Fine, I'll leave you alone, Jed. But, only if you answer this one  
question."  
"What is it"" Jed replied in a dismissive tone.  
"Do you love her""   
Jed froze in his spot.  
"I asked, 'Do you love her"'"  
"She's pissed at me."  
"You haven't answered my question."  
"She hasn't talked or made contact with me in five months."  
"Still not an answer""  
"She's moved on with her life."  
"WILL YOU ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION, JED"!"  
"YES, OF COURSE I LOVE HER! The damn woman was, is my life!!" Jed  
screamed in return.  
"Then, it really is that simple, isn't it""  
Jed folded his arms and looked at his best friend, "You ever think of  
being a lawyer""  
"As a matter of fact, yes."  
"Well, you've got the natural talent, pal."  
"Thank you," Leo said with a contented smile.  
Jed now stood again in silence for a while. "So, now what do I do""  
"We come up with a strategy."  
"A strategy"" Jed replied with a puzzled look.  
"Do you trust me"" Leo questioned.  
"Do I trust you""  
"Yeah."  
"I'm not sure," Jed said, his face a mixture of amusement and curiosity.  
"Oh, shut up. Let's go inside and get this started."

Part 17

  
  
Days later, Jed was starting to feel a little impatient. He hated  
waiting for, well, just about anything. Here Leo is talking about a  
strategy and the only thing accomplished so far was nothing.  
As Leo walked into the room, he found Jed pacing around like a cooped  
up animal.  
"Jed, you all right""  
"You said we're going to come up with a strategy, Leo," Jed said,  
turning quickly to face his friend.  
"Yeah."  
"It's been days now, and we've got nothing."  
"Speak for yourself, my friend."  
"You've got something"" Jed questioned.  
"Perhaps."  
"And you haven't shared it with me""  
"No," Leo answered simply.  
"Why the hell not""  
"Because, Jed, I didn't want you to screw things up."  
Jed dropped his jaw in surprise. "Leo!"  
"Oh, come on. You have no patience. You'd want to rush this and I had  
to make sure that I took care of things in just the right way."  
"I can't believe you!" Jed exclaimed.  
"Get over it," Leo responded.  
"So, you have a plan," Jed said, more as a statement than as a question.  
"Yes, I do."  
"So""  
"So what""  
"Are you going to share with me""  
"Eventually," Leo offered with a smile.  
"But not now," Jed stated with resignation.  
"Not now," Leo said in agreement. "Now, on another note. I need you to  
help me plan a party."  
"A party""  
"Yes. Jenny and I want to have a real wedding party, not the rush job  
we had before I shipped out. Now that we have settled in here, it's  
the perfect time. Especially that you are around; we thought now is  
the time. Besides, it'll be a combination wedding party, welcome home  
party."  
"I'm no good at planning parties. Why doesn't Jenny just take care of  
it"" Jed whined.  
Leo looked at his best friend with amusement. "Don't whine, Jed. It's  
really not flattering to you. Besides, if Jenny heard you say that,  
she'd accuse you of being a sexist pig. Also, don't you want to help  
me celebrate my getting my ass home in one piece" After all, you got  
anything better to do right now""  
"No," Jed sighed.  
"Good, so you can spare some time for me. Very generous of you, Jed,"  
Leo mocked.  
Jed smacked Leo on the arm. "Funny, funny man. Now shut up and let's  
get to work."  
  
Half a state away, the phone rang in a beachside apartment on the Cape.  
A young woman rushes into the living room to grab the phone.  
"I got it, Abbey! I'm expecting a call."  
"O.k, thanks, Millie," Abbey called from the other room.  
"Hello"" Millie answered breathlessly. "No, this is Millie, her  
roommate. Uh huh. Hold on, I'll get her."  
Millie set the phone down and goes into the bedroom, where Abbey is  
unpacking the last of numerous boxes.  
"Abbey, it's for you. I feel like your personal secretary or  
something. We've only been in the apartment for a couple days, and  
you've been getting all the calls."  
Abbey smiled, "Sorry, Millie. Know who's on the phone"" She asks as she  
starts out of the room.  
"No, some guy."  
Abbey stopped in her tracks.  
"Abbey" You ok""  
"Yeah," Abbey said casually. She continued back out into the living  
room.   
It couldn't be him. He would have no idea where she was. Unless her parents told him.  
She approached the phone apprehensively. If it was him, she didn't know  
what she would do.  
"Hello"" she said quietly.  
"Abbey" Is that you"" the man asked.  
"Yes."  
"Hi! It's Ron Erlich."  
"Ron!" Abbey exclaimed, with a mixture of surprise and relief. "How  
are you""  
"Just fine. Your folks said you were here and gave your number to me.  
I hope you don't mind."  
"No, no. I haven't heard from you in a while," Abbey replied.  
"I know. I know that things didn't exactly end in the most amicable  
way. I was hoping to rectify that."  
"Forget it, it's not a big deal," Abbey sighed.  
"Anyway, I was calling to see if we could get together. There's a  
party coming up, and I'd really like it you would go with me."  
"I don't know." Abbey said with a bit of hesitation.  
"Oh. Are you with someone"" Ron asked.  
"No," Abbey answered quickly.  
"Because I heard you were pretty serious with""  
"That's over," Abbey interrupted.  
"Oh, ok."  
"Although," Abbey started again,"a party may be just the thing right  
about now."  
"Great! So, you'll go with me""  
"I'd like that, Ron," Abbey answered.  
"Good. It's Saturday night. I know it's only Monday, but I wanted to  
make sure to give you enough notice."  
"I appreciate it."  
"Wonderful. I'll call you later in the week to get directions to your  
place and I'll see you on Saturday."  
"O.k., talk to you later. Bye."  
Abbey hung up the phone and sighed. She had to get back into life at  
some point. Now was as good a time as ever, she thought to herself.  
  
Saturday evening was warm and clear as Ron and Abbey made their way to  
the party.  
"It's really good to see you, Abbey. I've missed you," Ron said.  
"It's good to see you, too, Ron,' Abbey answered. She didn't  
elaborate. After all, this man broke her heart a while ago, and at  
this point, she had no interest in going down that, or any other, road  
like it again.  
"Where is this party, anyway"" Abbey asked.   
"About an hour or so from here. It's at the McGarry's house."  
"The McGarry's house"" Abbey thought to herself. "You mean Leo and  
Jenny"" Abbey inquired.  
"Yeah, it's a party for the two of them and for Leo's safe return from  
Vietnam."  
"Oh," Abbey replied. "You didn't mention this when you invited me, Ron."  
"I didn't think it was important. I just thought of it as a party and  
that it would be fun to get out and to spend some time with you. Is  
there a problem""  
Abbey made no reply.  
"It's about him, isn't it"" Ron asked coolly.  
Abbey looked over at Ron.  
"I know you and Jed were an item, Abbey. I heard you were practically  
married."  
"What else did you hear, Ron"" Abbey snapped back defensively.  
"Nothing. Except that you broke up. You're afraid he's going to be  
there, aren't you""  
"I'm not afraid of anything," Abbey said in an even tone.  
"Good. Then, let's go and have a good time, because, I, for one, could  
use a good time. How about you, Abbey" You were always up for a good  
time."  
"I still am," Abbey said.  
"Great, so I'm certain that tonight will bring lots of good times,  
Abbey," Ron returned with a smile.  
Abbey smiled back, but silently wondered if she had made the biggest  
mistake in her life by agreeing to go to this party.  
Once at the party, though, Abbey decided to let loose and have a good  
time. She had locked herself away for so long, that she had forgotten  
what it was like to live beyond the daily routine of books, research  
writing and bed. She couldn't continue to live like that, no matter  
how miserable things had become. Maybe after a party, she could get  
her head screwed on straight and back on the right track.  
"Hey, Ron,good to see you again, man," Leo said as he walked over to  
them. He offered his hand and gave Ron a firm handshake. "Feels like  
it's been years."  
"You look good, Leo. Glad to have you home," Ron replied. "You  
remember Abbey, don't you"" turning to his date for the evening.  
Of course he remembers me, Abbey thought to herself.  
"Of course I do," Leo said with a genuine smile. "Abbey, I'm glad you  
could make it."  
"Thank you for inviting us, Leo. Welcome home," Abbey said softly.  
Abbey scanned the crowds of people at the party. He wasn't here. She  
felt relief,at least that's what she thought it felt like".  
"So, are you two an item again"" Jenny asked pleasantly, putting her  
arms around Leo and joining the conversation.  
"Well, Abbey and I are old friends," Ron said gently to the couple,  
"and I was pretty stupid to let her go. If I'm a lucky man, maybe I  
can make amends and start over with Abbey."  
"Well, I wish you the best of luck, Ron," Leo said with a smile,  
looking at Jenny, who returned his smile.  
"Thank you. I'm hoping tonight is the start of something significant."  
"Oh, I'm sure it will be," Leo agreed. "Go have fun."  
Ron led Abbey to get a drink, while Leo and Jenny remained behind and  
continued to smile at one another.  
"Why don't you go find us a quiet place to sit, so we can talk. I'll  
grab us something to eat and drink," Ron offered.  
"O.k., thanks," Abbey answered and walked off the porch and down into  
the back yard area. There were many couples there, setting up places  
to camp out and picnic. She smiled as she remembered what it was like  
the summer before when there were countless parties on the beach in  
Cape Cod. Pitching a tent and staying put was definitely the right  
thing to do after numerous hours of drinking and other things.  
But, now, last summer seemed life a lifetime ago to Abbey. She shook  
her head in defiance.  
"No! I am not going to live my life as a recluse. I want something  
better than that!" she said aloud to herself.  
She took a seat on the grass, which was cool and just barely damp from  
the night air. Looking upward, she noted the stars in the sky. It  
wasn't often that she simply took the time to notice things like this"  
"They're beautiful, aren't they""  
Abbey looked up to see who was addressing her.  
"Reminds me of a night last July....I was alone on a beach...all the stars were out in their glory, and I just wanted to reach out and touch  
them. Of course, I knew I couldn't. It's a silly notion, really. But,  
then, one of those stars seemed to fall out of the sky and for a  
while, I got to marvel at the absolute beauty of it.'"  
Abbey didn't move, didn't breath.   
It was him. Jed was here after all.  
"It's just too bad that things like that can't last, isn't it""

Part 18

Time: June 1967  
Dedicated to my two angels…..who watch over me every day…  
  
  
"Hello Abbey," was Jed's simple greeting to Abbey.  
Abbey looked away from him. "Hello, Josiah," she said with   
no emotion.  
Jed winced slightly at the formality of her response. He   
remained standing as she sat, unsure of how close he should   
get. "How are you"" he asked, attempting to keep the conversation   
going, no matter how generic it sounded.  
"Just fine. How about you"" was the curt answer.  
"Oh, fine. Just fine," he replied, trying to sound casual.  
A heavy silence fell upon them.  
He thought that she might be at least a little happy to see   
him. However, it seemed pretty clear that she was not.   
"You're here with Ron"" Jed questioned.  
"Yes."  
"Why""  
"I don't think that's any of your business," Abbey answered,   
now looking at him.  
Jed bit his lip at her remark, "You're probably right. I was   
just wondering because you were the one who told me he broke your   
heart…"  
Abbey's eyes narrowed, "I don't think you are in any position   
to lecture me about breaking hearts, Josiah."  
That was the final straw for Jed. "I'm not in a   
position…what are you saying" That I broke YOUR heart" I find that   
fascinating, Abigail. I didn't break your heart. It was a senseless   
tragedy that broke it and wounded me forever, as well. You, on the   
other hand, were the one who shut me out. You wouldn't talk to me,   
let me help, let me prove to you that together we could get through   
anything. You were the one who broke MY heart, Abigail. So, don't   
sit there and accuse me, ok""  
"I think you've said enough, Jed," said a voice from behind.  
Jed turned around and saw Ron Erlich behind him.  
"Stay out of this. It's none of your business, Ron."  
"It is my business when you are harassing my date. I think   
that she's made it clear that she doesn't want to speak to you. My   
advice to you would be to get lost."  
Jed took a step toward Ron. "Are you threatening me""  
"No, not yet…" Ron replied. "But, if you insist on staying   
and giving the lady a hard time, that could be arranged."  
Abbey stood up quickly, sensing the rising tensions.  
Then, just as quickly, Leo came over.  
"Hey, guys…what's going on"" he asked calmly.  
"Tell your buddy here that it's in his best interest to take   
a walk and leave Abbey alone. She doesn't want to talk to him."  
"Abbey, did you ask Jed to leave"" Leo asked her.  
She looked downward and said nothing.  
"Abbey"" Leo prompted.  
"Never mind," Jed replied. "I get the point." He turned and   
headed back up toward the house.  
"Keep your friend away from her, Leo," Ron said as Jed walked   
away.  
"I think that you need to lighten up a bit. They were having   
a conversation, Ron. That's all. Don't be so possessive of   
something or someone that's not yours," Leo remarked and then excused   
himself to find his friend.  
Inside, Leo immediately went to Jed's room, knowing he would   
find him there.  
"You set me up, Leo."  
Leo sighed.  
"You set me up, Leo!" Jed repeated, this time his anger was   
evident.  
"Yes, Jed. I did," Leo confessed.  
"Why" Why didn't you tell me she was going to be here""  
"It's like I said before, I didn't want you to screw things   
up."  
"Well, so much for that," Jed muttered.  
"Yeah. But, in this case, I don't think you were the one who   
screwed things up."  
Jed hesitated. "Thank you."  
"I never thought I'd meet someone who was more stubborn than   
you, Jed. She may not be more stubborn, but she's got you matched,   
that's for damn sure."  
Jed sat down on the bed. "It started out just fine, Leo. I   
talked to her about our first meeting…back on the Cape on the beach.   
I actually sounded…almost romantic."  
"Now that, I'd pay to hear," Leo jumped in, smiling broadly.  
Jed ignored his friend. "But, things turned quickly…I asked   
her about Ron. She got defensive. I got defensive."  
"Yeah, and the rest is history," Leo added.  
"Right."  
Leo started to chuckle, which caught Jed off guard.  
"What is so funny, McGarry" I don't see any humor in this""  
"You know, the last time the two of you met like this…kind   
of "stumbling upon" each other…it didn't begin so well."  
"I know," Jed said, rolling his eyes.  
"But, look where it ended up," Leo said, his eyes twinkling.  
Jed considered that for a moment. "It ended in the crapper,   
Leo."  
Leo threw up his arms, "Ok, so things weren't perfect, what   
relationship is" After all, look what happened between Jenny and I   
right before we got married…"  
Jed looked away.   
"I almost lost her to my best friend. Hell, I almost lost my   
best friend."  
"I apologized for that, Leo," Jed said, a little embarrassed,   
but also a little irritated.  
"I know, and I wasn't fishing for one. I'm just saying, the   
good things in life are worth working for…that's how you know they're   
good. Yeah, you and Abbey have had your share of crap. But, you   
love her. You know it. And, I think she loves you."  
"Could have fooled me."  
"She's not in the same place you are now. Give her a little   
time," Leo told his friend.  
"Time" How long do I have to wait" It's been six months!"   
an exasperated Jed replied.  
"Well, then, what's a few more days or weeks, right""  
"You're impossible!"  
"And you're an impatient pain in the ass…" Leo shot back.  
"Point taken," Jed conceded.  
"Good. I need to get back outside. I'm being a poor excuse   
of a host. Are you coming""  
"In a bit. I need to regroup for a bit."  
"Fine, but if in 15 minutes I don't see you out there, I'm   
coming in here and dragging your sorry ass out."  
"I get it…I get it…"  
Leo walked out and headed back out onto the patio. He looked   
around until he caught a glimpse of Abbey standing over along the   
side of the yard, off on her own.  
He approached her carefully. "Where's Ron""  
"I don't know. He got mad at me for talking to Jed. I think   
he's taking a walk or something."  
"Oh."  
"Any short piers around here" Maybe I can direct him there,"   
she quipped.  
Leo smiled slightly. "I owe you an apology, Abbey."  
"Don't apologize for Ron…or for Jed…" she said quietly.  
"I'm not. I'm apologizing for myself."  
"Why""  
"I called Ron and invited him here…I suggested that he bring   
you to the party."  
Abbey raised an eyebrow. "Why""  
"Jed's been staying with me for a while now. I thought it   
was a good idea to get to two of you in the same place at the same   
time."  
"Oh, I see," Abbey replied, realizing what Leo had done.   
"I still think it's a good idea," Leo continued.  
"Oh, really""  
"Yes. But, you're both too damn stubborn to talk this out.   
And, I hate to say it, Abbey, but this time, you've got him beat."  
"Me"" she asked incredulously.  
"Yes, and I never thought I'd live to see the day. I guess   
that's why he loves you so much. You're his equal…in every way."  
Abbey stood in silence.   
"Abbey, listen. I'll give you that Jed Bartlet can be an   
arrogant, stubborn jackass…but, my God, he loves you. Can't you see   
that"" Hearing no response, Leo pressed on. "I know what you've   
been through is horrible. But, you have to consider what Jed has   
gone through. First, he lost his family for standing up for what he   
believes in and what he loves. Then, he tragically lost a child.   
But, most of all, he lost you. He could live without anything…except   
you. You took that away without so much as a word…you can't expect   
him not to be hurt."  
Abbey looked at Leo. "Why are you saying this""  
"Because, I love him. I want to see him happy. And, that's   
not going to happen without you. That, and the fact that I'm not   
convinced that you stopped loving Jed Bartlet. I know…why" Because   
once you love Jed, you can't give him up. I've tried, believe me."  
"It's been so long. I don't even know what to say," Abbey   
confessed with a sigh.  
"Try starting with how you feel…about what happened…about him…  
the rest will come. Either way, he deserves an explanation, don't   
you think""  
Abbey nodded slightly.  
Leo nodded with her, "Well, if you need a ride home or   
something, let me know. I hope that Ron didn't just leave you here.   
I'm gonna go see if I can find him. Just think about what I said,   
ok"" He turned to leave  
"Ok. But, Leo""   
"Yeah"" Leo answered, stopping and turning once more to face   
her.  
"You need to learn to stay out of other peoples' business."  
"Nah, my life is boring. Maybe I'll make a career out of   
running peoples' lives."  
"You'd be perfect at that job, whatever it may be."  
Leo grinned, shrugged and headed off back to the party.  
Abbey wrapped her arms around her and decided to try to find   
Ron. She was tired and ready to go home. But, after searching for a   
while, she still couldn't find him. She walked down the street, to   
see if his car was still parked in the vicinity of where they had   
left it upon their arrival.  
Walking about a half a block from her in the same direction   
was Jed. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew that Leo was   
right about at least one thing…she to explain. Maybe by doing so,   
she could let go of at least some of the pain. Things probably would   
never go back to being what they were before January, but it would at   
least be a start.  
She quickened her pace in order to catch up to Jed. When she   
finally reached him, she tapped him on the shoulder and stepped to   
his side, where he could see her.  
"Jed""  
Jed looked at her, but made no response.  
"I think…I think we need to talk…"  
  
Part 19

"Now you want to talk"" Jed asked sarcastically.  
"Yes."  
"Why""  
Abbey didn't answer him right away. Jed continued to walk.   
And Abbey continued to follow.  
"Jed, please…"  
"Please what, Abbey" I've been waiting for six months! Six   
months! I called your house; you had your folks screen your   
calls. `Tell him I'm not here.' `Tell him I don't want to talk.'   
The least you could have done was have the decency to tell me why you   
wanted me to disappear."  
"You're a man of many words, Jed. Not all of us have that   
gift, all right" I'm just coming to grips with all of this, so cut   
me some slack, all right""  
"I was right there with you and you pushed me away. Do you   
have any idea how hurt I was when I heard that baby wasn't to be" It   
almost killed me. But, when I heard that there was still a chance   
that I would have you….the news saved me. If not for that, I would   
have chalked it up right there. I knew that if I had you, I could   
get through this nightmare."  
"I was hurt, Jed! I just lost my baby. I wasn't prepared   
for the trauma that went along with that!" Abbey yelled in defense.  
"So was I, Abbey! And, I wasn't prepared, either. But,   
shutting you out was never…never an option."  
"Well, I guess you're just better than I am, Notre Dame…"   
Abbey sighed.  
"Notre Dame"…She called him "Notre Dame"…  
"That's not what I meant and you know it."  
Abbey walked over to a rock along the edge of the road and   
took a seat. Jed followed suit.  
"Why did you push me away"" Jed asked.  
"I didn't want to give you the time to blame me for what   
happened."  
"Blame you" For what""  
"For losing our baby," Abbey told him, turning away to hide   
her tears.  
"You think that I blamed you for what happened then""  
"No, not at the time. But, over time, you would see it…see   
through me."  
"Abbey, I don't understand."  
Abbey turned back to face him. "Oh, come on…it's obvious."  
Jed shook his head. "What is"" he demanded. Then, he looked   
at her face…the pain and the guilt was obvious. "My God, Abbey. You   
think you're to blame for this"!"  
Abbey stayed silent. Tears fell slowly down her cheek.  
"How could you even…how could you think that""  
"When I found out I was pregnant, I wasn't exactly happy, you   
know" I was scared and confused. I was even angry: at myself, at   
you a little and at the fact that something like this could happen to   
me. I wasn't exactly the picture perfect example of the mother-to-  
be."  
"That doesn't mean…" Jed began.  
"It's God's way of punishing me for my thoughts, Jed!" Abbey   
was crying in earnest now.  
Jed leaned over and tentatively put his arm around   
her. "Abbey, God isn't like that. He's not an angry God or a   
vengeful God. These things are tragedies—they happen. They test our   
strength and our faith. But, they are never meant to punish us."  
Abbey looked sideways at Jed. "Going back to your pastoral   
studies there, Notre Dame""  
"I'll ignore that sarcasm and just say that it just goes to   
show that my time spent studying to be a priest hasn't gone   
completely to waste."  
"Well, that's good to know," Abbey replied.  
Another silence fell, but this time it was not heavy or   
awkward.  
"Abbey, the only thing I wish is that this could have been   
settled long ago. Why suffer alone" I needed you, too, you know."  
Abbey lowered her head, "Speaking of family, my folks were   
pretty pissed at me after you left."  
"So was I," Jed admitted.  
"Dad didn't speak to me for weeks. Literally. It was   
terrible."  
"I know how that feels, being apart from your family. It's   
not a pleasant experience…At least you knew, deep down, that they   
were there for you."  
"Jed…we never got to talk about what happened with your Dad…"   
Abbey began softly.  
"Other things kind of took precedence," Jed returned quickly.  
"I know. I guess it's just easy for me to take family for   
granted." Abbey said, suddenly embarrassed.  
"You were my family, Abbey," Jed told her, looking right at   
her. "And I've missed you terribly."  
The two sat together quietly for a while.  
"I've missed you, too, Jed," Abbey finally said.  
Jed wanted to jump up and grab her, but thought better of it.  
"So, you're dating Ron"" he asked her.  
"You're going to start with that again"" Abbey returned.  
"I'm not starting anything; I'm merely asking a question."  
"I'm not dating anybody, Jed," Abbey answered, exasperated.  
"Oh," Jed said.  
"Are you…are you seeing anyone"" Abbey asked quietly.  
Jed laughed out loud. "Oh, sure. I've got a line of women   
beating down my door to get at me."  
"Stranger things have happened, Notre Dame. Although I will   
admit, not much stranger than that image."  
"Abbey, all I've manage to accomplish over the past six   
months is to get through my classes and perfect the art of being a   
hermit. Reminded me of what I would have had to do for becoming a   
priest. Oh, on a lighter note, I learned what it was like to be   
totally drunk off my ass."  
"YOU" Drunk" I missed this" Damn," Abbey sighed.  
"You didn't miss much. I make a terrible drunk. Ask Leo."  
"Leo thinks that nobody is as good of a drunk as he is. His   
opinion is slightly biased. Although, he is quite amusing, most of   
the time," Abbey joked.  
Jed sighed. "He set me up in getting you invited here, you   
know."   
"He set us both up," Abbey agreed.  
"Of course, at some point, we will have to exact our   
revenge," Jed offered in a tone indicating conspiracy.  
"Yes," came the quick reply.  
Jed paused for a moment, not exactly sure what to say next.  
Abbey cleared her throat. "How about you walk me back to the   
house" I need to see if I have a ride home or not."  
"All right," Jed replied, standing up and offering her his   
hand to assist.   
"Jed""  
"Yeah""  
"So, what's next""  
"Huh"" Jed stopped mid-step, confused.  
"I asked, `what's next"' You know…with us""  
"Oh. I don't know. Is there an us, Abbey""  
Abbey hesitated. "I'm not sure. I don't like to make   
assumptions. I figured by now, you'd have given up on me."  
"I told you back in January, Abigail, that I would wait. Do   
you remember what else I told you""  
Abbey thought carefully. "To be honest, I try not to think   
about that day…"  
Jed nodded. "I told you that love never dies…"  
"That's right," Abbey interjected. "You tried to convince me   
that love is not dead, it was only sleeping."  
"That's right," Jed said with a smile. "I wasn't very   
convincing at the time, I guess."  
The two continued to walk back toward Leo's house. For a   
while, there was only silence, and stars, moonlight and the sounds of   
feet moving along the dirt path along side the road.  
"Well, at the time, you weren't convincing, but I'm starting   
to believe that you just may be right, Notre Dame."  
"Hm," Jed replied. "I'll have to make sure I write that   
down."  
"What""  
"Today's date and the fact that you said I was right."  
"First of all, I said you just may be right…"  
"Close enough," Jed remarked.  
Abbey sighed. "You're impossible."  
"I know, but so are you."  
"I know."  
"So…" Jed said, "Let's see about that ride, shall we""

Part 20

The party was still in full swing despite the late hour.   
Even from down the road, Jed and Abbey could here the laughter and   
music filter through the warm night air.  
"Leo's always known how to throw a party," Abbey commented as   
they approached the house.  
"This is true. I heard his college parties were legendary."  
Abbey chuckled. "Yeah. There were a few I can only vaguely   
recall…"  
"Abigail, I'm shocked!" Jed responded with mock indignation.  
"Oh, please," Abbey replied with a moan. "You're not really,   
are you""  
"No," Jed answered simply, but with a grin.  
Abbey looked over at him sideways and grinned in reply.  
"Why didn't I ever see you at any of these parties, anyway"   
You and Leo being so close and all, I figured you'd at least stop by   
for a visit."  
"Well, first of all, I was in Indiana—sort of a long trip for   
a party. Secondly, I was still prepping for the priesthood. And,   
knowing Leo like only I know Leo, I didn't want to surround myself   
with a bunch of degenerates," Jed laughed.  
"Oh, that's right, Mr. High and Mighty," Abbey said, rolling   
her eyes. Suddenly, she stopped and put her hands on her hips. "And,   
by the way are you calling me a degenerate""  
"Me" Never!" Jed responded innocently.  
"I didn't think so…"  
"Oh, no. But consider the fact that I left the priesthood   
for you…"  
Abbey's mouth fell open. "Josiah Bartlet! If I recall, you   
practically had one foot out the door when I met you."  
Jed nodded silently, still grinning. "Yes, but you did give   
me quite the push from behind, didn't you""  
"You're blaming me for your fall from grace"!" Abbey asked   
incredulously.   
"Whom else should I blame"'  
"How about your overactive hormones"!"  
"That's your fault, too…"  
"Uh, I didn't start that, if you recall. There seemed to be   
another young lady before me…."  
"Let's not go there," Jed interrupted.  
"Oh, no, you started this…"  
"It's not the same, anyway," Jed defended.  
"Excuse me""  
"What happened between Jenny and me and what's happened   
between you and me…No where near the same thing."  
"I should hope not!" Abbey returned.  
"Of course not." Jed agreed with a smile.  
"And furthermore, if I recall correctly, I believe I was one   
of the only people in your pathetic little life who encouraged you to   
be a priest."  
"Yes…" Jed continued. "But, you didn't mean it."  
"WHAT"!'  
"You didn't mean it," Jed repeated casually.  
"Are you serious"" Abbey replied.  
"Sure. From the very start you wanted to keep me to   
yourself."  
"From the very start, I thought you were a pompous jackass!"   
Abbey stated emphatically with a laugh. "You seem to have a very   
selective memory, Notre Dame."  
"It works for me. Anyway you may have thought I was a   
pompous jackass…."  
"Thought you were a pompous ass" You are a pompous jackass!"   
Abbey interrupted again.  
"You may have thought I was a pompous jackass," Jed   
continued, unfazed, "but there was something about me that you found…"  
"Annoying, exasperating"" Abbey asked.  
"Intriguing…" Jed added. "And just for the record, I felt   
the exact same way about you…"  
The both of them stopped the exchange as they reached the   
steps of the house.  
"Well, hello you two. Where have you been"" Leo asked wryly.  
"Walking, Leo. Just walking," Jed answered with a glare.  
"Leo, have you seen Ron"" Abbey asked. "I can't seem to find   
him anywhere."  
"It's funny how you won't find someone when you're on a walk   
in the woods with another guy…" Leo teased.  
"Leo!" Jed and Abbey replied at the same time.  
"I saw him a while ago. When I told him I saw you heading   
out after Jed down the street, he looked sort of upset and took off."  
"You told him WHAT"" Abbey exclaimed.  
"In my own defense, Abbey, I tried to explain that it was   
nothing to get pissed off about, but for some reason he wouldn't   
listen."  
"Well, go figure!" Abbey yelled. "He just left!"  
"Yeah, took off out of here like a bat out of hell…If you ask   
me, Abbey, the guy's a jerk. You can do much better than the likes   
of him." Leo sat down on the top step and smiled.  
"Seems to me like you have a lot of opinions about my love   
life lately," Abbey stated evenly.  
Leo just shrugged his shoulders.  
"So, now what am I supposed to do about getting home""  
"Oh, for God's sake, Abbey, crash here tonight. It's late   
anyway and I'm not driving you home right now."  
Abbey considered this in silence.  
"We've got plenty of room. And, I know right where you can   
stay. In Jed's room!"  
"Leo!" Jed interjected. "That's enough out of you for one   
day…at least.'  
"Suit yourselves. Seriously, Abbey, find a place to crash   
and someone will bring you home tomorrow, ok""   
Abbey and Jed exchanged glances.   
"I'll see you two later. I gotta go find my wife." Leo   
stood up and headed inside the house.  
"I can't believe him!" Abbey said.  
"I can. After all the years I've known him, I know he's   
capable of just about anything. I just never realized how nosy he   
really was. Worse than a woman…"  
"Watch it, Bartlet!"  
"Sorry. So, now what""  
"Why don't we go enjoy the party and figure out the sleeping   
arrangements later"" Abbey offered, trying to stall for a while.  
"Fine by me," Jed replied, trying to hide the relief in his   
voice. Not that the thought of any type of sleeping arrangement with   
Abbey was something he wanted to truly avoid. It was a simple matter   
of timing….

Part 21

Jenny yawned as she looked out off of her back porch. The   
remaining guests from the party were getting ready to finally settle   
down for the night in their tents and sleeping bags in the back   
yard.   
"Tired, sweetie"" Leo asked, sitting beside his wife on the   
bench.  
"Oh, a little. After all, it's only 3:00 a.m."  
"What's the matter" Getting too old for this kind of stuff""  
"Funny man you are, Mr. McGarry," Jenny replied, standing up   
and stretching. She walked over to the end of the porch. "So,   
what's going to happen with those two"" she asked, motioning over to   
the couple sitting nearby.  
Leo looked to where his wife was pointed and noticed Jed and   
Abbey deep in conversation. He sighed a little. "Well, they've   
managed to talk for a few hours and not scream and yell at each   
other. Maybe that's a good sign."  
"Are you sure that it was a good idea setting this whole   
thing up between the two of them tonight"" Jenny continued.  
"No. With those two, nothing's a sure thing."  
"I've never been sure about the two of them, you know."  
Leo looked at his wife. "Why not""  
"I don't know. She's always been...so...difficult, Leo."  
"She's a good woman, sweetheart. Abbey is just what Jed   
needs."  
Jenny made no reply.  
"I've known Jed forever, Jen. I think I know better than you   
do."  
"It's just that he's so sensitive. He needs someone to take   
care of him."  
Leo looked at her, confused. "Jed doesn't need someone to   
coddle him, honey. He needs someone as strong as he is. If he's   
going to make anything out of all those brains he has, he needs   
someone who will give him direction and be honest with him. Abbey   
will give him all of those things."  
"Maybe..." Jenny relied.  
"Jenny...please don't take this the wrong way, but you've   
only known Jed for a while. You got to know him at his most   
vulnerable." Leo hesitated, clearly uncomfortable at the memories   
this conversation was evoking. "Josiah Bartlet is a caring and   
compassionate man. But, he's also a stubborn man, and needs someone   
who can stand up to him. There's no one better for that than   
Abigail."  
"Perhaps."  
"Maybe you should try to get to know her, Jen. She's not as   
bad as you think."  
Jenny sat in silence.  
"Jenny" Can I ask you a question""  
"Sure," Jenny answered.  
Leo paused for a second. "Things between you and Jed..."  
Jenny looked over at Leo quickly. "Things" What things""  
"Before...You know, last summer...things were never exactly   
resolved."  
"Leo..."  
"I'm just saying, Jenny. I know that you had feelings for   
him."  
"Leo...If you're asking me if I was in love with Jed..." she   
stopped mid sentence, waiting for Leo to interject his objections.  
But, none were made.  
"Leo" Are you asking me if I was in love with Jed""  
Leo shrugged his shoulders.  
Jenny looked at her husband with shock. "Do you think I'm   
still in love with Jed""  
"No," Leo answered quietly.   
"Sweetheart, Jed is your best friend. He's special and I   
care for him deeply, just as you do. What Jed and I shared last   
summer..." Jenny noticed the twinge of pain in Leo's eyes. "It was   
special, but it wasn't what you and I have. It could never be. You   
get that, right""  
Leo smiled a little and nodded.  
"He's our friend, Leo. I don't want him to get hurt, that's   
all."  
"I guess I've always just wondered...why the two of you..."   
Leo started.  
"I was confused and hurt. Your drinking worried me."  
Leo sighed. "Jenny, I haven't been drinking like that in a   
while."  
"I know. But, I didn't like the person you were when you   
were drinking. And, seeing a lifetime like that was scary."  
"Well, you have nothing to worry about, hon. I'm not an   
alcoholic or anything."  
"I know that. Jed was just there to help me get my head   
sorted out and vice versa."  
"Yeah," Leo said.  
Jenny put her hand in his. "I love you, Leo McGarry."  
"And I love you, Mrs. McGarry," Leo said, leaning over to   
kiss her. "Now, why don't we leave those two to their own devices   
and we head to bed""  
"Do you think the house is safe"" Jenny joked.  
"I'm willing to risk it. Come on, let's go." Leo stood up,   
leading Jenny inside the house.  
  
  
A few moments later, Jed looked at his watch and   
whistled. "Wow, it's almost 3:30 in the morning."  
"Yeah," Abbey replied. "The last time I stayed up this late   
was cramming for finals."  
"Exactly how do pre-med students study" By playing doctor""   
Jed asked with a smirk.  
"Oh, right. You've got a dirty mind, Notre Dame."  
"So, wanna go to bed"" Jed questioned.  
"Excuse me, sir""  
"I only meant, it's late and I thought you might be tired.   
What did you think I meant""  
"Well," Abbey began awkwardly, "it's just that crack you made   
about playing doctor and all..."  
"Now who has the dirty mind"" Jed interrogated.  
"Never mind. I'm going inside," Abbey commented.  
Jed followed her to the house, managing to contain his   
laughter. "Do you even know where you're heading once inside""  
"Finding the first couch I can so I can crash on it."  
"You are NOT sleeping on the couch, Abbey."  
Abbey sighed with exasperation. "Oh, don't start this macho   
crap with me, Notre Dame."  
"It's not macho crap; it's simply good manners. I may not   
have taken much from my family, but my mother did teach me manners."  
"So, what, you're going to sleep on the couch""  
"Sure, why not"" Jed asked.  
"Because that's not fair."  
Jed rolled his eyes. "Well, it's either that or you can   
sleep in my room with me."  
Abbey remained perfectly still.  
"I didn't want to presume that you wanted that," Jed said,   
almost in a whisper.  
"Well, I, uh...."  
"I promise that I'd be on my best behavior. Scout's honor."  
"Were you a boy scout""   
"Does it matter""  
"I guess not."  
"So""  
"Well, all right. You stay on your side and I'll stay on my   
side."  
Jed nodded. "Of course."  
They walked into Jed's room in silence and shut the door   
behind them.   
"You're gonna need something to sleep in. Here, let me get   
something for you." Jed rifled through his bag and found a t-  
shirt. "This should be ok, right""  
"Huh" Oh, yeah. Just fine." Abbey's eyes scanned around   
the room.  
"You alright""  
"Me" Sure!" Abbey replied, trying to sound confident.  
"O.k," Jed returned, taking off his shirt and pants, leaving   
only a pair of boxers on. He jumped into the bed and covered   
up. "I'll pull the blanket over my head as you change."  
"Oh, thank you," Abbey said, but did not move.   
Jed didn't move, either.  
"Well...what are you waiting for"" Abbey insisted.  
"Oh, sorry," Jed offered, rolling over on his side and   
pulling up the covers.  
Abbey turned her back to him and, with shaky hands, began to   
remove her clothes.  
Of course, Jed couldn't help but to peek, just a little. In   
the dim glow of the single lamp of the room, Jed smiled at the   
recognizable curves of her body. He saw them constantly in his   
dreams and they were just as he remembered. To see her right in   
front of him like this was just about all he could take, but he kept   
his composure and reminded himself that patience is a virtue.  
Just as Abbey was about to turn around, Jed made sure that he   
was safely under the covers and facing away from her.  
"Turn out the light, please," Abbey requested.  
Jed leaned over and turned out the light. Then, quickly,   
Abbey got into the bed and pulled the covers up over her.  
"You didn't peek, did you"" Abbey asked.  
"No!" Jed answered immediately.  
Abbey said nothing at first in reply, simply rolling over   
with her back facing him. "Liar," she commented after a few   
seconds. She smiled, knowing that Jed couldn't see her.  
"I'm not going to try to defend myself, as I'm not a lawyer   
and you wouldn't believe me anyway."  
"You got that right."  
Jed sat up in bed. "Maybe I should get Leo in here. He's   
going to be a lawyer some day. He can defend me."  
"Don't you dare get him in here!" Abbey said with almost a   
squeal. "That's the last thing we need. Him seeing us like this in   
his bed, in his house!"  
"Worried""  
Abbey chuckled slightly. "No. But, I don't need to hear him   
running off at the mouth. He's almost as bad as you are."  
"Gee, thanks."  
"So, drag your sorry butt back into bed right now, Notre   
Dame," Abbey ordered, trying to pull him back down into the bed.  
"Oh, I love it when you talk to me like that."  
"Oh, shut up!" Abbey exclaimed, grabbing her pillow and   
smacking him with it on his head.  
Jed looked over at her, with an unmistakable gleam in his   
eye. Grabbing his own pillow, he returned her blow, and then some.   
The two of them hit each other repeatedly, trying not to laugh or   
scream out loud, not wanting to wake or disturb Leo and Jenny. The   
battle continued in a furious, tense silence for a few more   
breathless moments, until Jed grabbed both pillows and pinned Abbey   
down on the bed.  
"Do you give"" he asked in between gasping breaths.  
"Give what"" Abbey replied innocently.  
Jed decided it was best to ignore that comment. Still   
holding her down, "Do you give up""  
"For this round, yes," Abbey said, trying to catch her breath.  
But, Jed did not move. He simply looked down at her. Even   
though the lamp was off, he could see her, as the moonlight was   
enough to create a faint light over them. She almost seemed to glow,   
and Jed hoped it was from more than just the flush from their   
impromptu pillow fight.   
"What is it"" Abbey asked calmly. Her heart was beating   
loudly, and it wasn't just from their game.   
"Nothing," Jed said with a faint smile. "It's just..."  
"Just""  
Jed hovered over her still, not wanting this moment to   
evaporate into the moonlight. In his mind and soul, though, as good   
as this felt, he had to admit to himself that now wasn't the time.   
Closing his eyes, he reached down and caressed her cheek for a   
fleeting second. Then, he opened his eyes and saw her looking at him   
intently.  
"It's just...you're tired...I'm tired...and we should   
probably go to sleep."  
Abbey blinked a few times, as though she was shocked at Jed's   
reply. "Ok."   
Jed let go of Abbey and reclined back onto the bed. They   
faced each other. The silence in the room was almost oppressive, but   
their eyes were riveted on one another. Finally, Abbey broke their   
gaze.  
"Would you..." she began, her eyes looking downward.  
"Yes"" Jed prompted.  
"Would you...be willing to hold me"" Abbey asked, almost   
inaudibly.  
Jed smiled, tipping her head up so that her eyes would meet   
his again. "Ready and willing, Abbey," he replied with equal   
softness, and opened up his arms to her.  
Abbey allowed herself to be enveloped into his arms and   
rested her head against his warm, bare chest. She closed her eyes   
and recalled how safe and at home she used to feel in his arms...and   
how they still felt that way, even now.  
"Go to sleep, Abbey," Jed said, stroking her hair lightly.  
Soon afterward, the two of them fell asleep in each other's   
arms. And, for the first time in months, both slept peacefully.

Part 22

The morning sun invaded the room far earlier than Jed cared for. In  
general, he enjoyed the summer season; however, the fact that sunlight  
interrupted valuable sleep time earlier each day seemed utterly unjust  
to him. Squinting his eyes at the bright intruder, he stretched his  
limbs out as far as he could to try to get rid of the sleep still  
hanging on for dear life throughout his body.  
Only then did he recall that he was not alone in bed. Abbey was there  
beside him, still sleeping soundly. Jed rubbed his eyes, removing the  
last remnant of sleep from them. He prayed that when he removed his  
fists from his face, she would still be there and that this wasn't one  
of those dreams that had tortured him for months, the ones where he'd  
wake up, practically feeling her there with him, only to discover that  
he was alone.  
He wasn't alone now, though.  
She was right there, next to him. He could see and hear her deep  
breathing. And, no sound, not the birds' odes to the breaking day or  
even the high pitched song of a wind chime hanging outside on the  
porch, sounded more beautiful.  
All Jed could do at this point was lie there and watch her. That was  
fine with him, as there was no place he'd rather be than right there  
with Abbey.  
After some time, Jed couldn't resist touching her. His touch was  
innocent: a simple stroke along her jaw line, merely pushing back the  
hair from her face. Jed's touch, though, was enough to make Abbey stir.  
"Wh..What time is it"" she asked sleepily.  
Jed leaned over to glance at his watch on the table beside the bed.   
"Uh, looks like it's a little after six."  
"Ugh," Abbey replied, her eyes still not fully open.  
"My thoughts exactly," Jed agreed.  
Abbey blinked a few times, trying to focus on Jed. Once her eyes  
adjusted to the light of the room, she smiled softly at him. "How  
long have you been awake""  
"Not long."  
"What have you been doing""  
"Watching you sleep," Jed answered simply.  
"Oh, sounds exciting."  
Jed smiled. "I kinda like it."   
Abbey lifted the blankets and looked under them. "I'm still dressed."  
Jed looked at her, confused. "Yeah, you're still wearing your t shirt  
that I gave you last night""  
"Right."  
"And, why wouldn't you be""  
Abbey's smile widened some, "Oh, I don't know. I thought that maybe  
you would try to take advantage of me while I slept or something."  
"Well, maybe that's what you were hoping for, but, I, dear lady, am a  
gentleman."  
Abbey laughed out loud, then covered her mouth.  
"You think that's funny"" Jed asked, feigning hurt.  
"Apparently so," Abbey answered.  
"Listen, I don't need to take advantage of you. If I wanted to sleep  
with you, I'd just""  
"You'd just what""  
Jed paused. "Well, I don't know, but I certainly wouldn't stalk you as  
you sleep." Now it was Jed's turn to look under the covers.   
"Besides, I think I should be the one who should be worried about  
being taken advantage of."  
"You" Why""  
"I seem to remember a young lady, who looks remarkably like you, who  
was sleeping in her own bed and crept into mine"" He stopped for a  
second and looked at Abbey, who was now flushed slightly pink, and  
grinned. "Sound familiar""  
"Vaguely," Abbey conceded.  
"Uh huh," Jed replied with a satisfied tone.  
"Why were you looking at me"" Abbey asked quickly.  
"Trying to change the subject""  
"I think it's a simple question to answer, Jed."  
"Because, I like the fact that you were the first thing I saw when I  
woke up this morning, and I wanted to hold onto that feeling for just  
a little while."  
Abbey said nothing, quite simply, because she couldn't.  
So, the two of them remained where they were in silence, just lying  
next to one another.  
For almost an hour, they stayed like that. Saying nothing, but holding  
one another closely.   
"Jed"" Abbey whispered, breaking the long- standing silence.  
"Yeah""  
"I've missed you."  
Jed closed his eyes and pulled her closer. "Missing you doesn't even  
began to describe how I've been feeling."  
"I've dreamt about this for a long time, you know," she continued.  
"What""  
"Being like this with you. I used to hate waking up, because I knew  
you wouldn't be there."  
Jed nodded. "I know. But, you know, there's something missing from  
this picture."  
"Oh""  
"Yeah. Mind if I share with you""  
"No," Abbey replied.  
Jed leaned in and kissed her very lightly on her forehead. Abbey  
closed her eyes upon his touch. He kissed the end of her nose, just  
as lightly and Abbey still didn't pull away. Finally, he reached her  
lips and barely touched them with his own. In that moment, she opened  
her eyes and saw him looking right into them.  
She reached up and placed her hand lightly on his cheek. Both of them  
wanted to deepen the exchange, but were unsure of how the other would  
react. In reality, they were both shocked that things had gone this far.  
"Hey! Mornin, Jed!" came a booming voice as the bedroom door swung open.  
Jed and Abbey froze in their places. Leo stood at the door with a grin  
a mile wide on his face.  
"Well, good morning, Abbey! What a surprise to find you in here!" he  
continued.  
"Good Morning, Leo. And what a surprise to see you barging in here,"  
Abbey returned.  
"Hey, it's my house. I thought I gave you two enough time to...well…"  
"Oh, be quiet, Leo!" Jed said. "Not everyone is like a couple of  
newlywed bunnies every time they're behind closed doors."  
Leo folded his arms and continued to smile.  
"I am a newlywed, remember" So, what's your excuse""  
"Get out!" Jed and Abbey shouted together.  
"Ok, ok. Just wanted to let you know that breakfast is in about 20  
minutes."  
"Great, you told us, now leave, please," Jed stated.  
"Touchy, touchy!" Leo said with a laugh as he left and pulled the door  
closed behind him.  
"Oh, he's gonna get it!" Abbey exclaimed.  
"In time, my dear. In time," Jed said.  
"You wanna get up first, or should I"" Abbey asked.  
"I'll get up, that way you can get dressed in peace," Jed replied,  
jumping out of bed.  
"O.k," Abbey said.  
"You won't peek will you"" Jed asked with a laugh.  
"Me" No!"  
"Good," he said, bending over and picking up his clothes. With his  
back facing her, he started getting dressed.  
And, of course, Abbey made no move to go under the covers or turn away.  
Jed could feel her eyes staring at him, but he made no sound or  
protest. He simply smiled to himself. After he finished, he turned  
around and saw Abbey lying there, her back propped up with pillows.  
"I thought you said you weren't going to peek," he challenged.  
"I didn't peek. I don't stoop to the level of hiding my eyes with my  
hands and then looking through them," she answered plainly. "If I  
want to look at something or someone, I just look."  
Jed put his hands on his hips and just smiled. "Well, did you at least  
like what you saw""  
"Not bad, Notre Dame. Not bad. Now, get out so I can get dressed."  
"Now, that's not fair…here you are telling me to get out. Don't I get  
to watch you""

"No," Abbey replied.  
"Why" What happened to equal rights."  
"Equal rights? That would imply that you are equal to me. Now, get out!"  
"All right..geez..Talk about your double standards." Jed whined  
playfully and shut the door.  
"So"   
Jed turned around and saw Leo standing there.  
"Were you listening at the door" he asked his best friend.  
"Oh, come on, Jed. Would I do that?" Leo responded in shock.  
"Hell, yes!"  
"I did not. Besides, there wasn't anything good to listen to," Leo  
said quickly.  
"A ha!"  
"Anyway" Leo continued.  
"Forget it, McGarry."  
"You mean there's nothing to tell! You've got to be kidding me! The  
two of you alone, in a bed, and nothing happened.  You haven't gone  
back to studying for the priesthood, have you?"  
"Go to hell!"  
"So much for that theory....so, why?"  
Jed shook his head in protest.  
"Oh, come on! I'm your best friend. It's the least you can do!"  
"Kiss and tell is the least I can do for you? That's pretty pathetic,  
my friend."  
Leo rolled his eyes. "Well, what can I say""   
"The least the better, now let's go see if we can help with breakfast,"  
Jed said, heading for the kitchen.  
Leo sighed and followed his friend. "Didn't anything happen""  
Jed looked at his best friend of many years and smiled, "Something  
happened, Leo. Believe me. Something happened."  
  
  


Part 23

Jed closed the car door once Abbey was seated comfortably inside. He  
turned to Leo and Jenny, who were standing there waiting to say goodbye.  
"Thanks for letting me borrow your car to bring her home. I promise  
I'll bring it back in one piece," Jed told them.  
"No problem. Your car is a piece of crap," Leo replied, leaning into  
Jed. "Just make sure you don't mess up the back seat during any  
unscheduled "rest stops"," Leo whispered into his ear with a laugh.  
"That's more your style, my friend," Jed returned and got into the  
driver's seat.   
Abbey rolled down the window. "Thank you both for your hospitality,"  
Abbey said to the couple.   
"Sure thing," Jenny replied.   
Jed started the car, backed out of the driveway and headed down the road.  
  
A good half-hour or so later, there was still no conversation between  
Jed and Abbey. Jed wondered what the change was, as he thought things  
were moving along nicely over the past 12 hours or so. Abbey looked  
out the window and thought of where things should (or could) go from here.  
"Abbey?"  
"Yeah?"  
"You ok?"  
"Sure."  
"O.k."  
Jed sighed, turned on the radio and kept driving toward the coast.  
  
About 45 minutes later, Jed pulled into Abbey's driveway. He stepped  
out of the car to open the door for her. After stepping out, Abbey  
stood in the driveway awkwardly. This was not going well, at all.  
"Well, I guess I should head back," Jed stated.  
"Probably," Abbey replied.  
Jed shuffled his feet. "It was really good seeing you again, Abbey. I  
mean it." His tone was quiet and he tried to mask the hurt building  
inside. He turned, opened the car door and started to climb back into  
the car.  
"Jed, wait..."  
Jed turned half way back to face her.  
"The least I can do is offer you a drink or something before you head  
back," Abbey said quickly. "Besides, you need to meet Millie."  
"Millie?"  
"Yeah, she's my roommate for the summer. She and I go to school together."  
"Oh, ok," Jed replied and followed her upstairs to her apartment.  
Abbey opened the apartment door and called out to her roommate.  
"Millie" You decent?"  
"As decent as I'm able to be," Millie cracked from a back room of the  
apartment. "Jeez, Abbey, that must have been some party. You were  
gone forever!" The door to the room opened and she emerged. "So, do  
I even have to ask how the date was with Ron?" When she looked up and  
saw Abbey, Millie immediately realized that the man with her was NOT  
Ron. "Uh, hello?"  
Abbey smirked. "Hello, Millie. This is Jed Bartlet."  
Jed noted that Millie's eyes widened just slightly as she extended her  
hand. "Hello, Jed Bartlet."  
"Hello, Millie," Jed returned with a curious smile.  
Millie gave Abbey a look as if trying to say, "So? What's the scoop?"  
"Uh, Abbey, may I use your bathroom before I head out again"" Jed  
asked, knowing that now would be a good time to allow the girls to  
chat. He really didn't want to be in the room while they talked about  
him.  
"Oh, sure. Second door on the right." Abbey replied. "I promised you  
a drink. What would you like""  
"How about some juice," Jed answered on his way out of the room.   
"Whatever you've got is fine."  
When Millie heard the door shut, she turned to face Abbey. "Ok, spill  
it!"  
"Spill what"" Abbey said, heading for the kitchen to get Jed's glass  
of juice.  
"Spill what"" Millie repeated in amazement. "You left here with Ron,  
were gone all night and return with him! What happened""  
"It's a long story," Abbey sighed.  
Millie pulled up a chair to the kitchen table and sat down. "I'm not  
going anywhere."  
"All that you need to know is that Ron left me there and Jed was nice  
enough to give me a ride home." Abbey opened the cupboard, grabbed a  
juice glass and then opened the refrigerator.  
Millie's eyes narrowed in deep thought as she considered what Abbey  
said. "Were you expecting to see Jed there""  
"Of course not!" Abbey exclaimed in a hushed tone. "And, would you  
mind keeping your voice down. He's right in the next room!"  
"Fine," Millie agreed. She leaned her elbows on the table and  
grinned. "He's cuter than I pictured," she whispered  
Abbey turned to face her friend, "Oh, really"" Abbey finished pouring  
the juice and decided to leave it out on the table with the full  
glass, in case Jed wanted more.  
"Oh, come on! He's a handsome man, Abigail!"  
"Hmm," Abbey replied with a smile. "If you think he's so attractive,  
maybe I should set the two of you up."  
"Impossible," Millie returned.  
"Why"" Abbey asked, pulling out a chair for herself across from her  
friend.  
"Because it is so obvious he's in love with you," Millie answered bluntly.  
Abbey dropped into the chair across from Millie, not able to say anything.  
Jed entered the room, "Done talking about me"" he asked with a grin.   
He sat down next to Abbey and picked up his juice.  
Millie looked over at Jed and returned his smile, "Actually, no, would  
you mind stepping out of the room again""  
"Millicent!" Abbey replied in shock.  
Jed laughed out loud.  
"You'll have to excuse Abigail, Jed. She's in a major case of  
denial," Millie offered.  
"Well, I just figured that if the two of you are going to talk about  
me, the least you can do is not do it behind my back," Jed continued.  
Millie laughed now. "Yeah, that is kind of rude, isn't it?"  
"Certainly is""  
"Uh, excuse me, but I'm right here"" Abbey chimed in.  
"Why, yes you are"" Jed said, still grinning.  
Abbey shot Jed an annoyed look. "For your information, Mr. Conceited,  
we weren't talking about you."  
"Oh, really?" Jed shot back quickly. "So, what exactly were you  
talking about?"

Millie and Jed looked at Abbey intently. "Never mind," Abbey finally  
answered.  
Jed looked at his watch. "Listen, before I head out, I was thinking  
of going to evening Mass. Would you ladies care to join me?"  
Millie looked over at Abbey. "Uh, I have plans already. But, Abbey  
usually goes on Saturday evenings""  
Abbey sighed. "Sure, I'll go with you."  
"Well, don't kill yourself or anything," Jed added.  
"Will you shut up and let's go. It's right down the street."  
"I remember where it is, Abbey," Jed said quietly. "Unless you're  
talking about a different church than last summer?"  
"No."  
"Ok, then." Jed stood up and offered his hand again to Millie.   
"Millie, it certainly was a pleasure to meet you."  
"Same here, Jed. I've heard so much about you. It's nice to put a  
face to a name, finally."  
Jed looked over to Abbey, who was already up and getting a sweater.   
"You talked to Millie about me before today""  
"Let's go," Abbey said quickly and headed out the door.  
  
The two of them walked in silence to the church. Jed could clearly  
remember this place. It was where he started to find the answers to  
all of the clouded questions his mind was jumbling around last  
year…which seemed like forever ago now.  
They made their way up the stairs and Jed opened the door for Abbey,  
who smiled softly. In the rear of the church, a row of offering  
candles shone brightly. Both of them approached it carefully and  
reached out for a stick to light a candle. At that moment, Jed  
reached out and took Abbey's hand as she picked up a stick.  
"Why don't we light one together, as I think we're both lighting it  
for the same purpose."  
Abbey looked at Jed and hesitated. Then, she nodded silently.   
Picking up the long match, Abbey turned to Jed, and allowed his hand  
to encircle hers as she lit the candle.  
Jed cleared his throat and began in a whisper, "Dear Lord, watch over  
our little angel that you have taken into your care. While our hearts  
ache with missing our angel, we know that you have a higher purpose  
for him or her. Help us grow in understanding and healing."  
Then, mother and father lit the candle together.  
Jed turned to face Abbey again and saw the tears shining in her eyes,  
which were accentuated by the light of the flickering candles. Abbey  
noticed his eyes were brimming as well.  
"Come on," Jed whispered, still holding her hand. Then, the two went  
into the sanctuary to pray together.

Part 24

Time: June 1967  
Dedicated to my two angels…..who watch over me every day…  
  
  
Throughout Mass, Abbey felt Jed's eyes on her. She attempted   
to keep her focus straight ahead toward the altar, but she kept   
feeling her own eyes shifting toward Jed. Then, whenever he'd look   
her way, she'd look forward again. Either that or she would look   
downward, at their hands, which were still joined together.  
When Mass ended, they walked out of the building together,   
still in silence.  
"Nice service," Jed commented absently.  
"How would you know" You weren't even paying attention during Mass."  
"Yes, I was," he protested.  
"You were looking at me the whole time!"  
"A-ha! But, how would you know that unless you were looking at me,   
too""  
Abbey made no reply.   
"I should get going," Jed said. "It's gonna be dark soon. And, I   
should get Leo's car back to him."  
"Yeah," Abbey replied. "But….can we go for a walk, first""  
Jed smiled. "I'd like that."  
Abbey took him to the beach, where they only walked for a few minutes   
before finding a place to sit and watch the sunset.  
"Isn't it beautiful"" Abbey asked.  
"I'd rather look at you."  
Abbey gave him a crooked grin, "Resorting to flattery, Notre Dame""  
"Flattery implies something false. I simply speak the truth," Jed   
replied seriously.  
A chuckle from under her breath was her only response.  
"Did you ever think that we would be sitting here like this""   
Abbey asked a few moments later.  
"I think about it all the time," Jed confessed.  
"You do""  
He nodded and looked at her. "Yeah, but the picture here   
isn't quite complete."  
Abbey looked confused. "I don't follow you."  
Jed took in a deep breath. He knew that if he left this   
undone now, the opportunity would be gone—possibly forever.  
He placed his hand behind her head, running his fingers   
through her hair and pulled her close to him. He bent down and   
lightly touched his lips to hers. As they met, he closed his eyes,   
uncertain of her reaction and not really wanting to see her hand come   
up and slap him upside his head.  
But, the only thing he felt was her hand on resting softly on   
his cheek.  
"Was that…ok"" Jed asked, opening his eyes.  
"Yeah, it was ok," Abbey answered with a smile.  
A smile spread across Jed's face. "Hmm. Only `o.k.'. I   
guess I have some work to do, then."   
"Well, a little practice wouldn't kill you, I suppose."  
Jed laughed softly and pulled her into an embrace, where he   
kissed her in earnest. All of the months of missing her were   
obvious, as he tried to draw her in his very being. He thought that   
after all of this time, it would be a kiss of incredible passion and   
desire. And, yet, while both of those emotions were there, there was   
more of a feeling of completeness.  
Suddenly, Abbey pulled back from him.  
"What is it"" Jed asked, concerned. "Did I make a mistake""  
Shaking her head, Abbey answered, "No, Jed. I did. I made a   
terrible mistake…back in January. I pushed you away and I shouldn't   
have."  
"Shh..don't. It's done," Jed whispered, holding her against   
him.  
She pulled back again and looked him in the eye. "I know   
it's asking a lot, but, is there any way that we can start over""  
Jed shook his head. "No."  
Abbey's eyes widened. "No""  
"No. Haven't we wasted enough time"" He took her hands in   
his. "I can't start over with you, Abigail. I love you and I want   
you by my side always. Why go through all of that again" I know I   
may be the one who's asking too much, but I don't want to start   
over. I want to move forward from where we were."  
Abbey blinked a few times, but could say nothing.  
"I can't promise that everything will be fine, but I'll do   
everything I can to keep our lives interesting."  
Laughing loudly, Abbey hugged Jed tightly. "Now, that's   
something I can count on."  
"I love you, Abbey."  
"I love you, Notre Dame." She stopped and shook her   
head. "I love you, Josiah."  
And for a while, the couple sat on the beach and just watched   
the stars pop out in the sky, one by one.  
"Jed" Is there anyway you can stay through the weekend""  
"Well, I could try talking to Leo. I'm sure he might   
understand. Why do you want me to stay""  
"My parents are coming up to see me tomorrow. I thought you   
might like to see them. I know they would love to see you."  
Jed smiled broadly. "I'd love to see your folks. I've   
missed them, too."  
Abbey kissed Jed on the cheek. "Let's go back to my place   
and call them."  
"All right," Jed replied and jumped up.   
And, for the first time in a long time, the two of them   
walked forward…truly together.

Part 25 of 25

Millie watched in amusement as Jed paced around her living room.  
"You know if you keep doing that, we're going to have to forfeit our  
security deposit because of the large hole you're making," she told  
Jed.  
"Huh"" Jed answered absently. "Oh, yeah. Sorry." He sat on the  
couch  
and started to tap his foot.  
"Jed, why are you nervous" You know Abbey's parents already."  
"I know that, but I haven't seen them in a while and...I don't  
know..."  
Millie went over and sat next to Jed. "It's o.k. Jed."  
"Her parents are great people, Millie. They were incredibly good to  
me  
back when I first met them. Better than my...well, anyway. They're  
special people and I don't want to do anything to screw things up  
again."  
"Jed, I don't know all the particulars of what happened, but it seems  
to me that circumstances were screwed up...not you."  
"I suppose," Jed answered quietly.  
"Where's Abbey"" Millie asked.  
"She's finishing up taking her shower and getting ready. I guess her  
folks will be here soon."  
"O.k. Why don't you go for a little walk for a little while to  
settle  
your nerves" It beats you breaking my floor. I'll keep Abbey calm.   
She always gets a little mental when her parents visit."  
"All right. I'll be back shortly. Please make sure that Abbey  
doesn't  
think I've bailed on her."  
"You got it; now get going."  
Jed went for a walk on the beach. In his mind, he knew that he had  
nothing to fear in seeing Abbey's parents. After all, it wasn't like  
his parents were visiting. But, in a way, seeing Abbey's folks was  
more important, as he had a great deal of admiration and respect for  
them. However, seeing them was also a painful reminder of what he  
didn't have with his own family.  
He hoped that they would be accepting of his and Abbey's decision to  
get married. Considering that these circumstances were a little  
better than the last time they tried this, he was encouraged that  
things would work out fine. Yes, there would probably be some  
explaining to do, since the two of them hadn't been in contact for  
months. Yet, Jed thought that her parents would be supportive. Their  
approval meant everything to him.  
Jed looked at his watch. He'd only stay away for a few more minutes,  
as he didn't want Abbey to think he took off on her. When looking at  
his watch, he noticed that it was only 5 days until the first  
anniversary of his and Abbey's meeting on the beach. Jed shook his  
head at the thought. How could a year seem like yesterday and a  
lifetime all rolled up into one" But, in actuality, everything with  
he and Abbey seemed to be in extremes: their meeting, their  
friendship, their loving, their fighting, their passion and their  
losing...So, why should time be any different, then"  
Checking his watch once again, Jed gasped and hurried back to Abbey's  
apartment, almost forgetting his nervous stomach along the way. He  
rushed up the stairs and knocked on the door.  
Abbey opened the door looking as calm and refreshed as Jed felt  
nervous  
and jerky. Her long, pink flowered dress draped gracefully over her  
strong frame and her hair was soft and pulled just slightly off of her  
face. She embodied the stereotype of a woman's ability to glow.  
"Wow," Jed said quietly. "You look incredible."  
Abbey smiled and stepped outside of the doorframe. "Why did you  
knock""  
"Uh, it's not my apartment"" Jed replied uncertainly.  
Rolling her eyes, she leaned in and gave Jed a small kiss on the  
cheek.  
"Don't be so nervous."  
Jed cleared his throat and replied quickly, "Me nervous" No. I'm not  
nervous."  
"You look a little green."  
"I do"" Jed asked, wide-eyed, his voice several pitches higher than  
normal.  
"See, you are nervous!" Abbey said playfully. "You have nothing to  
worry about, trust me."  
"Famous last words," Jed stated.  
"Come on." Abbey held her hand out. "It's going to be fine."   
Jed gave his hand to Abbey and she pulled him inside the apartment.  
"Mom and Dad are out on the deck admiring 'the view that they're  
paying for'," she snickered.  
As they approached the terrace, Jed held back slightly.  
"Jed""  
"Yeah""  
"You all right""  
"I will be."  
"O.k. I'll go out there. You'll be right behind me though, right""  
"Of course."  
"All right," Abbey replied and walked outside.  
Jed sighed and collected his thoughts. He wanted to say something  
deep  
and assuring, but all the words were completely jumbled in his head.   
Preparing for a moment like this was pointless. Jed, typically a  
master at formulating his thoughts into words, was simply at a loss.   
Slowly, he approached the sliding glass door and pulled it opened.  
It wasn't three seconds before Jed heard Abbey's mother call out his  
name excitedly and rush toward him. She embraced him warmly and he  
reciprocated easily. A moment later, she withdrew and from behind  
her, Jed saw him emerge.  
"Jed," Abbey's father said, approaching him with an extended hand.  
"Sir," Jed replied calmly, returning his gesture with a firm  
handshake.  
But, instead of dropping his hand right away, Abbey's father held  
onto  
it tightly. "It's good to see you, son."  
That was all it took for Jed to dissolve into tears and for Abbey's  
father to embrace him fully.  
"It's good to see you, son," the man repeated.

Continued in "Here, There, Everywhere"


End file.
